forty-six+two

A Foreign Affair

2006-07-07T11:45:00.000-05:00

A Foreign Affair details the journey Western men undertake to find a foreign wife. Well written and an intriguing subject. Anybody up for a little trip to Eastern Europe?

Shut up Al Gore!

2006-06-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

If MY humble review didn't convince you, then this may.

The Business is of Chewy

2006-06-22T12:57:00.000-05:00

If you're into entrepreneuralism, check out Guy Kawasaki's video on the Art of the Start. He says everything better than I could.

On another note, I think we need another Gospel. Yeah, we have the standard four: Mattius, Markius, Lukifer, und Jon. And we also have the crazy: Thomas, Mary, Barabus, Ryu and Jos. (Thank you Da Vinci Code for that act of blasphemy and ruining all of our lives!!)

Alas, I've decided there needs to be one more voice to this otherwise salacious cachophony of a Venetian Boys Choir. His is a story that starts like no others and tells a tale of intrigue, betrayal and adventure. With these ever faithful words "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" our furry scribe recounts the Gospel according to Chewbacca.

Yes! Only Chewy was there when Jesus defeated an uprising on the moon of Endor and when Jesus met his darkside clone. Only Chewy was there for the miracle known as Ewoks. For it was Jesus who created these little cherubs out of fish and bread. And Chewy was there when Jesus defeated Jon Luc Piccard in a run through the American Gladiator Gauntlet. All this without steroids or HGH. And Chewy even inspires us with Chewbaca 3:16 "AARRRGGG". Ahhh... the memories.

Ok... that was kind of silly. But there's been sillier.

Mitesh out!

PS... Clerks 2 is coming out.

Some people are just more special than us...

2006-06-16T16:25:00.000-05:00

Andre is, well... something special.

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Dare we take any advice from anyone?

2006-06-16T11:21:00.000-05:00

Maybe we'll listen to Stewie!

There's also Colbert @ Knox College.

Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what’s going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say “yes.” And if you’re lucky, you’ll find people who will say “yes” back.

Now will saying “yes” get you in trouble at times? Will saying “yes” lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes.”

And that’s The Word.

Bejeweled -- I hate thee...

2006-06-12T16:49:00.000-05:00

You ever achieve a goal faster than you expected? And not only faster, but also shatter your goal with meteoric levels?

I play bejeweled ... a lot. Its a nice little game on my cell phone that passes boring minutes when traveling by subway or listening to people. I even use it to duck out of work to play on the toilet bowl.

Bejeweled, if you haven't played before, is matching colors in horizontal or vertical lines. Then getting them to combo. Each time you combo, you gain time. This is clever and unexpect, so obviously I felt confused and scared. After playing though I gained a modicum of proficiency. In about a month's time I gained a score of 3000. This was phenomenal considering a I was lingering around 1000 most of the time and peaked at 2400 before. At this time, I decided I would give up the game when I get a score greater than 10,000. I jokingly said this thinking it would take me the rest of the year to do this. In this sense, I would have had several bouts of boredom with the game and incrimentally increased my skill as well.

Eventually, I broke the 3000 mark and found my self at 3600. Everything was moving as planned. My average score was about 2200. Not bad. Then in a short time I passed that score and got 3900. Again my average was in the 2000s. Soon though, I discovered something. My basic tactic had evolved as follows:
1. I did something! Horray!
2. Get the nearest ones to you
3. Setup for the coolest patterns (I didn't mention this before, but chains of 4, chains of 5, L shapes and T shapes all count... and I suspect they count more.)

I knew chains were kick ass. They not only gave me more points, but more time. I realized if I just made chains at the bottom the random nature of the top will create plenty of combos. Eventually, my score leaped to 4000 then to 4900. I took a little break and played another game. Then came back and in a few weeks I broke my record. Some where in 5000s. Then I broke 6000 soon there after. Eventually I had 6800 and lingered there. I still thought it would be a while till I broke it. And this record stood for about two weeks. But no! I had to pick it up today. Things were going smoothly. Most games last about 7 minutes now that I average about 4000. (At first games lasted about 3 minutes).

In the interim from my last strategy revelation, I realized that taking a break and pausing the game is great for getting a better score. So in the middle of this game I was perplexed as to how much time I had vs. how drained I felt from the game. I looked at my score and realized I was probably gonna break my score. I was flowing pretty well and I was above 7000 already. So I took a little breather and came back. I continued and I had my eye on and off the score. When I still had an abundance of time left at 9400, I knew it was going to happen. I always get a little panicky at this point because I might just fuck up and just fall short. But then I passed it. 10,000 accomplished. Horray. Or not really. I was a filled with melancholy at the achievement. I expected the goal to really last longer. To have to 'figure' something else out. But it happened. Then I went on to 11,000 then 12,000 ... 13,000 14, 15... And then I ended with a score of 17, 660. I have to say I am quite proud of this accomplishment. But I can't really say I want to play ever again. Mainly b/c this game isn't suppose to take 1/2 hour of my time. Yeah I could set 50,000 as a new 'goal' but I don't think I want that goal. So the search is on for another cell phone based casual game. Anyone have any suggestions? Maybe Bowling?

666 -- The Number of the Beast

2006-06-06T15:29:00.000-05:00

Today is 6-6-06. You've probably seen all those eerie pics up around town for "The Omen". At first that really sketched me out especially when I was driving at 60 mph on the 59th St. Bridge. But then a friend clued me in.

It also turns out to be Nation Day of Slayer. And while I didn't skip work or murder my neighbor's dog, I did listen to some Slayer. Totally rocks!

If you can't do that, I suggest you watch Iron Maiden's "The Number of the Beast". I love this video. I swear somebody they went to high school with was like "Hey! That songs pretty awesome. You should make a video... I can do that. You know. Remember the ummm, video I made of us drinking by the 7-11? Yeah... I joined the A/V club after that." So it is the most rocking video ever. And then at one point there's two ballroom dancers doing their thing. And I'm pretty sure the bassist was talking to the guys one day. "Hey our video is going to kick ass. But you know my sister. She and her boyfriend are ballroom dancers and it would really mean a lot to them if they could get some exposure. I think our video would help. You think we could get them in? Huh?" Like I said, best video ever. Better than Fine Young Cannibals' "She Drives Me Crazy".

So 6-6-06 is like a crazy day for some people. Women are afraid to give birth to their sons on this day, some are looking forward to doing it all the little children in the neighborhood were singing nursery ryhmes in hauting minor keys. It was freaking me out. Don't freak me out.

Al Gore - Not A Robit No More

2006-05-26T16:01:00.000-05:00

Al Gore. We've know you as:
Senator
Vice President
and
Protector of the Space
Time Continuum
(it's in the Constitution!)

But now you've out done yourself. You're fighting the invading army of GLOBAL WARMING!!!

In An Inconvenient Truth, Gore succinctly and meticulously lays out the ever growing threat of global warming. And he does this with a new found southern charm and an impassioned confidence.

Yes... I said charm, believe it or not.

His hard-nosed science is interspersed with self-deprecating humor, poking fun at the insular mindedness of the old guards and his own naïveté. All this with a hint of "Well, shucks. I'm from Teeeennn-es-eee" in his voice.

His awareness of the science is far deeper than the average person's. (Who'd have guess that the earth is a nonlinear dynamic system? not I!) I'm grateful he's been able to do his homework. But for Zombie Jesus' sake, will you post your slides on the website! I could easily take contention with his presentation of data and his penchant for skimming over the complex messages of scientific work. But that is easily forgivable is the greater light of his noble pursuit.

And yes... it is noble. For once we may have a candidate that feels like he has to be running for president to change the way the world works and not to prove himself to daddy. Its certainly what the Dems have been dying for and something, I feel, America needs. He's embraced his own voice in this movie. I hope he doesn't suffer a bout of laryngitis.

This movie is a way for him to test the waters without getting too wet. And he has, as all heroes must, put the mission before himself; so even if he dies trying to pass the torch, he will die with no regrets. But with that said, I think everyone should see this movie. We witness the transformation of a man as he unfolds his passion for serving humanity.

I only have two hopes for him. First, whoever kept him on message for this film is one of his trusted confidants through the campaign trail. As long as he doesn't have too many voices attempting to drown out his impassioned message, he stands the chance of making a lasting impact on the political, economic and technological world (again).

Secondly, I hope he develops some more charisma. Even though he is charming, I felt his charm was scripted. If he develops a genuine willingness to play with his audience and dissenters (dissenters... no! There can be any of those! Can there? Maybe.) he'll charm the methophorical pants off America. (And I hope we're wearing a lacy thong!) When his sense of charm finally spills over into his identity, he'll finally be charismatic. Maybe a year and a half is time enough to refine that quality.

But if we don't elect him (and not saying he's earned my vote, just my ear) we can always romanticize over what could have been... or maybe elect his head in 3008!

(Psssttt... I hope this was a joy for all Futurama fans. I wish I had something with the news monster... AWWWW--- EFF IT! Here he is!)

Tool

2006-05-16T15:12:00.000-05:00

Sorry, Tool came out with a new album. It sucks. Don't listen to it. Some how it's been eating up all my time. Apparently, I listened to Tool 82 times on Winamp last week. All other music has plummetted to the depths of Hades.... Speaking of which. I think you should read the myth about Inanna's descent to the underworld where she meets and is shamed by her dark sister.

Pretty interesting stuff. Best of luck to you in your descent to the netherworld. Don't become a ghost. It's a boring life. You end up attaching yourselef to energies that are long gone. I'm bored.

Yearnings

2006-05-06T14:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Maynard,

For years your words have challenged me, changed me and inspired me. Your latest have again effected me. Listening to these words have heavied my heart.

I know the burden you have chosen to carry is overwhelming. But I want you to know that even though no one can fight your battles for you that you are not alone on the battle field. These times may seem hopeless, but no that there is at least one other willing to fight along your side even in my naivete. The next few years will be difficult for all those battling for a new world; a better world. A world that only a few of imagined could exist. And as the old falls away to make room for the new I hope that a few of us can hold it together so the transistion hurts less.

My words, while never as eloquent or lovely as your own are the ones that came to my heart. I hope that your journey allows you to celebrate your peaks and your soul is strengthened in dark times. You have shared pain, hope and love all of which reminded me of my own. I wish you the best on your journey and hope to see you soon.

Mitesh

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam...and a Blue Frog

2006-05-03T09:54:00.000-05:00

Spam. Besides being beloved by Vikings and Hawaiians of all shapes and sizes, it clogs e-mail boxes. I hate it. You hate it.

But there's some people fighting back, like BlueFrog. BlueFrog maintains a database of e-mail address that don't want to spammed. If a spammer gets a compaint from BlueFrog he goes to their database and compares his list to the BlueFrog database. Then he removes all the BlueFrog members from his list. Worried that he'll just add you to his list when he sees you in the BlueFrog database. Well, he can't see you. Ennnnnn-crypted. Want to know more? Here's a little more detailed account of how BlueFrog actually works.

I started using BlueFrog when I stumbled across it about three weeks ago. They have a wonderful Firefox plugin that monitors web based e-mail apps. And now a few spammers are pissed. Which is a good thing. I got a message in my mailbox saying "We know you use BlueFrog. If you keep on using it you will pay. You will get the bird flue and die!" And I was scared. I didn't want them to flood my e-mail with spam. So I went over to the BlueFrog Blog and check out what they had to say. Yeah, they had my e-mail address, but they didn't get it from BlueFrog.

So the next day I managed to receive 300 pieces of spam. Most of which gMail happily filed away into my Spam folder. And again, I was "Oh no. The world will end soon and all the will be covered with gooey ectoplasm. Run and hide! Run and hide!"

So I read the BlueSecurity blog that reassured the hysterical how BlueFrog works and I waited it out. The next day I was back to normal (and possibly below normal) spam levels. I think there'll be a few more spikes like this in the future. I think, like any battle, there'll be some risks and some rewards. It interesting to amongst the ranks and on the good side for once.

There's some detailed accounts of the recent spammer attacks. But none more acc-U-rate than mein. So don't bother reading any of those.

I'm open to seeing if anyone else is fighting spam out there. Let me know.

I suck

2006-04-28T10:50:00.000-05:00

I've been reminded that I suck many upon many times. I was most recently reminded by aingeal is after I left a mildly humorous comment on her site. She isn't the first and won't be the last. I'm probably gonna suck this weekend and sometime in the near future too. (Pssst... see that picture of a penis to the left... pretty cool, isn't it? I think so. But the guy who drew it is really smart and Irish.)

Needless to say my posting frequency to this blog is highly representative of my sheer suckiness. In a futile attempt to reclaim my presences as a B-Logger I've decided I'm gonna keep posts on the shorter side. And a little less ranting. It's actually hard work to rant! So I've opted for rambling.

So I've started using Google Calendar. I've realized that I'm a GoogleWhore (gWhore). I use gMail, Google Calendar, Google Reader, Google Slave Trader, gCrack and Google Bookmarks. It's quite swarmy if you ask me. But this is all in an effort to establish my public and private life wholly online. I figure when my sex tapes float freely though the EtherWeb I'll have made. Then I can just sit back and eat chocolate popsicles all day.

So other than that, I've come to the snarky conclusion (I couldn't have used the word snarky properly) that Web 2.0 (I don't think anyone actually knows what this is) is more about personalized browsing than social tagging. Social tagging is more of a masturbatory activity mainly because it devoid of a mappable ontology. Whoa! I don't think I wrote that. What I'm really trying to say here is if we have no way to relate the words we use to label content on the web, the mere labels are floating in space. Even if in my head I know what a "Quizzibuc" is and I label several webpages with it, it won't mean a damn to you.

So personalized browsing. This has become really viable with all the firefox extension available. And it seems like Explorer has followed suit. If you were to look at how you navigated the web with out any extensions and then how I navigate the web with several different extensions, you'd be both disgusted and floored. I mainly use personalized browsing to manage content, manage my thoughts on content, speed up where I'm going, layout webpages I like and avoid content I don't care for. Easy skeezy.

Enough about personalized browsing. I could go on and on about how I use stick pads to keep track of my thoughts and Yubnub is awesome (btw its Bunbuy backwards). But I won't. Instead, I'll encourage you to attend the sixth annual Lebowski Festival in Austin, TX. I love Austin. It's a wonderful little city with so much green and sunlight. Also a shitload of music. But the Lebowski Festival is in honor of The Big Lebowski. If you attend, you too could be an Achiever!

That's all for me. Remember... be lazy, have incomplete pseudo-intellectual thoughts and underestimate everyone's worth (including your own) and you'll get far in life!

----------------
From the annals of dr. timothy leary
----------------
Think for yourself
Question authority

Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness;
chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself.

Think for yourself.
Question authority.

Duke, DNA and Dirty Deeds

2006-04-11T12:52:00.000-05:00

I was listening to the news and it was reported that there was no DNA evidence connected to the allegations that members of the Duke lacrosse team raped an African American stripper. This by no means is conclusive that the rape didn't happen, but it weighs heavily in that direction. It's certainly not beyond a group of young male athletes to behave like this.

NPR interviewed some students from North Carolina Central University where one of the strippers went to school. One young woman felt that "the whole DNA thing is bullshit". WHAT?!?? What the hell is she trying to say? I certainly don't disagree with her that maybe the investigation went awry. But to say that DNA is bullshit? How can you be in college and say that? That's beyond me. Isn't it a basic hurdle to believe certain scientific tenets before they let you into college? At least construct a convincing argument to the contrary? Don't just leave us with 'bullshit'. That's just a steaming pile of horse manure.

So this incident elucidated several racial, class and gender issues that still hold control over our culture. First, there were racial slurs addressed to these women. This is totally uncalled for and for young men of an elite university to still buy into this stereotype is unfortunate. But I think if we all look, we'll find some remnants of racism. You're very lucky if your devoid of those subtle traces. Hopefully, you're showing others how to rid themselves of those ever so hard to isolate tendencies.

There's a new show that pits rich against poor on the WB. Both groups exemplify certain stereotypes that we hold regarding the rich spoiled kid (surprise! A reality show exploiting stereotypes!). We tend to easily demonize the rich. And yeah robber barons, oil tycoons and politicians have all betrayed the trust of the public. But say that all rich people do that is insane. There have been many financial elites who have given uncountable blessings to this world, but we never seem to really understand them or mingle with them so we don't have any awareness of their situation. Only how our lack of money contributes to our pitiful situation.

And finally, my favorite: the gender issues. The general sentiment amongst many people is "Even though the DNA evidence is negative, I still feel that something happened." This is very different from having a suspicion of something happening. The situation was ripe for something to happen, but the conclusion that something did happen is a bit premature. I think this comes from a base suspicion we have towards men in general. Sports and fraternities are ad hoc masculine communities ripe with rituals and leaders. This community doesn't create a mature man because it has no vested interest in creating a mature man. However, society does. And by the sheer fact that universities are endowed with men of this age, it becomes their responsibility to mature men (and women). And so I point you to an interesting article on the responsibility of a university to create a conscious citizen.

Honestly, I don't know what happened. But I think I'm gonna hit up the local strip club and ruminate. Ahhh... ruminations!

Avatar

2006-04-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

I came up with a new avatar. I hope you like him! I know I do. He is truly the highest expression of my artistic capacity. I'm truly proud of the line details and color palette. But more importantly, I think the emotion experience far outweighs any artistic techniques used to render my master piece. Alas, I must admit that he makes me smile.

V for Vendetta

2006-03-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

I saw V for Vendetta this weekend and think its phenomenal. The subtle use of symbols, the high octane action scenes and the transformation of a character really solidify this movie as one of the best (as oppose to the worst of 2006). The movie also does a great job of keeping me wondering about what will happen next and weaving many smaller stories into the greater plot. Not to mentioned a Benny Hill homage. Brilliant!

The biggest controversy surrounding the film is it's political bent. It takes place about 10 years in the future. England is now in the grips of a fascist dictator who rose to power when chaos was gripping the world due to America's failed conquest in Iraq. America in the mean time is in the midst of a civil war, but England avoided it due to their... well, who really knows why.

I had no expectation of this movie being anything worth watching. In retrospect, seeing that Alan Moore wrote the graphic novel assures me that this might have a chance. Alan Moore is one of the most compelling writers of the graphic novel genre. His ability to string along a reader through various literary elements is second to none. His work in the Watchmen is a singular, iconic representation of what can be accomplished through the graphic novel medium. On the other hand, Hollywood is notorious for butchering otherwise wonderful comics in an effort to jazz them up a bit. How unfortunate.

So a lot of people got their panties in a twist over the 'political' message. And to that I retort with dinosaurs!

Did you read what the insightful dinosaurs had to say? Did you, huh? Huh? Good. So yeah. In the same spirit that you can't really have unbiased journalism or objective history. What a joke!

Unfortunately, this otherwise moot point of political controversy took away from an otherwise wonderfully crafted film.

I want to talk about Evey's transformation so I must say that in order to talk about this rather intelligently, I'll have to share some information that might spoil the movie.

Evey is the product of culture that's been under siege. She was raised in a government runned facilities after her parents were imprisoned for protesting the government. She has taken up a rather docile and submissive role in stark contrast to her parent's rebelious leanings. She obeys the government because she fears the government.

Evey manages to get herself tangled in V's affairs. V takes her in and she agrees to help him in his crusade. But in the middle of his work she cowers and runs from the scene. She is later captured by the government, tortured and asked to turn V over. This would have been easy enough for her, but she found a note buried away in a hole in her cell. Written on this note is the story of a women who occupied the cell before Evey. Her story isn't fantastical or showy; rather it is one mixed woven with fear then hope and then fear again. Evey realizes that the injustice done to this woman isn't an isolated incident and if she betrays V's location she betrays this young woman. Evey is asked one last time, in a pleading voice by her silhouetted interegator to reveal V's location or she'll be taken out back and shot. With both strength and fear she firmly says "No. Kill me."

With that the man says she's free to go and she realizes soon enough it was V who put her through this. Evey is angry at V for deceiving her, but when she takes a step back she realizes that the 'lie' he created freed her from fears. This is a transformation into an Evey that she likes. This harkens a theme throughout the movie "Artists create lies to show us the truth; politicians create lies to keep us from the truth."

Evey faced death and finally knew what she would die for. In the process she learned how to live. Evey, in struggled breath, runs to the roof for air. It's just started to rain. She basks in the rain and the view of the city. She feels her freedom finally.

This movie moved me in ways that few have. It serves as a reminder to embrace my greatness and that there are battles to be fought. Each age has its battles. And each battle has it heros. And when a hero is called to battle that spirit awakens not just one person but an entire generation. What battles are you fighting? What inspires you?

Barry Bonds is a big fat p-p-pussy!

2006-03-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

Two years ago, South Park premiered an episode where Jimmy uses steroids to win the Special Olympics (evil, yes. Hilarious, also yes!) During the celebration Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi were celebrity guests of honor. Below is Jimmy's confessional speech. While the transcript is only part of the hilarity, just imagine the camera flashing to the baseball stars at the appropriate times. With out further ado, I present to you the genius of South Park!

TIMMY: Timmih!

JIMMY: What?

TIMMY: Timmih!

JIMMY: Oh my God. You, you're right, Timmy. You're totally right. Everyone, can I have your attention, please? I'm afraid I have to give back my medal. The truth is, I haven't been playing fair either. I've been using st-steroids. I was willing to do anything to be the best, and the steroids made me blind to the people I was hurting. A good friend even tried to talk me out of it, and I wouldn't listen to him. Taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped at the Special Olympics. Because you're taking all the fairness out of the game. But I know now that even if you do win on steroids, you're really not a winner. You're just a p-pussy. You're just a big fat p-p...p...pussy, and if you take steroids, the only decent thing to do is come forward and say, "Remove me from the record books, because I am a big, stinky p-pussy-steroid-taking jackass." That's how I feel about myself, and why I must decline this medal and my place in the history books. And if you'll let me, I'll be back next year. To compete with honor.

MCGUIRE: Hey kid. Good for you for being honest.

So if you haven't heard, there is a soon-to-be-published tell all book about Barry Bond's regiment steroid doping and SI has the scoop. Yeah, we know Giambi admitted to Congress that he used steroids. Palmerio, beloved by many, told Congress he didn't use steroids and then tested positive for Winstrol. And Mark McGuire's muscles are so atrophied that it's saddening to even watch him move.

Why in the world is this one getting so much publicity? Well other than the media being a pack of vultures of course? It obviously isn't new news. I was listening to Colin Cowherd this morning since he always has something interesting to say. (His commentary on Kirby Puckett, the officiating at the SuperBowl and how we crucify great players like ARod are classics.)

"You know that he did steroids. What surprising was the extent. Its like those tell all documentaries for rock bands. Poison, an 80s glam rock band for example. You knew they were having lots of sex. But when I hear they had a special room under the stage for sex during the concert, well that's just mind blowing."

And so here we are again. Probably at the beginning of another long journey in which Congress mounts its high horse threatening baseball to get it's testing in place or well blah, blah, blah, blah!! For God's sake think of the children. Please think of the children.

When I was a kid, I really, really liked Darryl Strawberry. He was the Mets' ace slugger. I use to, and my sister can attest to this, sit in front of the TV and time my swing with Darryl's. In had it all down. The little waggle of his bat at the beginning, chewing gum, the big kick that always led of a swing, the deep golfer swing, the swooping follow through, everything! I had it. Granted I was seven and the Mets had just won the World Series the year before so I was in the right place at the right time rooting for the best. But I never really thought about beating my wife and taking copious amounts of cocaine. Well, not when I was seven. That came much later. I must have been eight, eight and a half. When I did find out about what Darryl did, the only thing I thought to myself was "Huh.... What a fuck up." (Same goes for video games, btw. I've never once wanted to pick of flamethrower and torch a host of innocent bystanders despite my penchant towards games like GTA3. Well, not very often at least.)

More often than not, great people have great flaws. Anyone remember Bill Clinton. Granted his wife's pussy is colder than a blizzard in the Antartic, but... he's still suppose to be a shining example of what an American man is. Kirby Puckett. Another legend from the early 90s era of baseball just passed away of a stroke. He was an inspiration on the field and off. His conduct was impeccable towards the fans and his work in the community was unparalleled. But he beat the women in his life and had terrible mood swings. Also his weight was getting the better of him.

So let's think of the children, shall we? The children's first and foremost role models are the people in the community. Their parents, their coaches, teachers et al. These people play a pivotal and daily part in their lives. At least I hope they do. Instead, I'm doing double takes when ever a hoochie mama eleven year old trots by in the mall. (I swear there's something in the water!) DO NOT LET YOUR TELEVISION BABYSIT YOUR CHILDREN!!! They risk being as fucked up as me. I'm not saying it rests on just one teacher. Or just one school. Or one parent. That's not a community. A community promotes a set of higher values through their actions first. Like, I don't know, hmmm... encouraging a winning coach to look the other way when his players are engaging in questionable activities. Never happened I bet.

The circus that's going to happen in Congress and in the front office of Major League Baseball is going to detestable. I suggest you sit it out. In the end, baseball will weather the storm. Somehow. I don't think baseball will ever really be able to recapture the glory it once had for me in the late eighties and early nineties or for the nation like it was in the from the 20s to the 60s. The greatest American athletes just aren't training themselves to be baseball players. They're increasingly moving towards football, basketball and curling (on the up and up, I tell you). So baseball will never be America's pastime again. It's simply a dying sport. On the other hand, check out the World Baseball Classic to see some real national vigor. The Dominicans, Venezuelans and Japanese really love this sport. But I digress. Baseball has survived gambling, a world war and racial segregation. It's history is rich and complex as much as the game.

This hasn't killed baseball and the kids will be fine as an icon for this black eye in baseball. He currently holds the lead for most home runs in a season at 73.

*Single Season Home Run Records*
Player	#HR	Year to Break Previous
Barry Bonds	73	3 (he had a .863 Slugging which is monstrous!)
Mark McGuire	70	38
Roger Marris	61	34
Babe Ruth	60	6 (broke his own record of 59... and before this it's all Ruth)

Also considering he stands to possibly set the record for most home runs in a career. He's already number three and only seven away from surpassing number two on the list, Babe Ruth. Who was no role model himself (from Wikipedia):

For someone who performed larger-than-life heroics on the field, Ruth was very often less than the ideal role model in his behavior and personality. He drank too much, his speech was splattered with profanities, chased women while a married man, drove cars recklessly, was frequently childishly rebellious with a disregard for rules and authority figures, and sometimes had a quick temper with players, umpires, and even fans. Yet despite all of his well-publicized faults, millions of people adored him. He was generous with his time and money, and set up numerous charities, many directed toward children. On a number of occasions after games, Ruth, not wanting to disappoint any fans, would stand for hours signing autographs.

I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that he used steroids. I understand the drive to be competitive and to be so competitive that you sacrifice your body and health. It's actually a quality we admire in our heroes. He was a really good baseball player before steroids. When I watched him play for the Pirates in the early nineties, he was five weapon player: base runner, contact hitter, home runs, fielder and good arm. He had a 40-40 (HR and Stolen Bases) in '96 and was the first player to reach 400 HR and 400 SB in '98. Then when he went all roids on us, his slugging went through the roof and his base running and defense took a back seat.

But this option isn't available to all people in major league baseball. Rules are rules. Some make sense. Others don't. But they're there to keep a level playing field. Take for example, the corked bat. Illegal for many, many years. But does it make sense? No. The amount of weight you lose in order to speed up your swing takes away just as much power as you gained in the swing speed. (It a momentum thing.) You can't grease the ball. That makes sense. You're not allowed to use the gun in the gun circle (Don't worry about this one if you haven't seen Upright Citizen's Brigade).

Does this mean I want to see a league full of super mutant athletes? No! That's why we have curling. Personally, I think we should have a well educated group of athletes deciding if they want to sacrifice their testicles for a moment of glory. The unfortunate realization I'm having is most kids will choose this option. Then baseball will totally self destruct. Its good and bad, I know.

This whole affair sucks, not only for baseball, but as reflection of America's obsessive culture of competition. We basically said we are willing to sacrifice our testicles for greatness. Which is what all men do when they strive for greatness. It is our source of power after all. All too often we are asked the question "Do we want a long life of mediocrity or a short but glorious life." Alas, we'll have to just start to change the notions of greatness and escalate heroes we really yearn to follow in to the darkness. Politicians, CEOs, athletes have all failed us. I guess this new era, with new dreams beckons a new hero.

Vixen's Sexual Revolution

2006-02-27T16:49:00.000-05:00

In my never ending quest to be maintain this blog with as little effort as possible, I brilliantly conceived the idea of having a guest blogger. (I'm the first! Trust me!). But I didn't know where I'd find someone up to par with the intellectual prowess and whimsical wit to tickle all our funny bones. Alas, I was a drift in a sea of insipid writing and banal jokes.

In steps Vixen. Not only is her name terribly titilating, but her tales are equally so. Vixen writes the Bad Girl's Guide which gives no holds barred advice to the sexcellent girls of the world dealing with dizzying endeavor of dating. I only discovered after my little piece on The Fairer Blogs so of course I have to give her a guest spot.

Below is her post. If you happen to see any text that's really dumb and in this color, it's mine. Feel free to heckle me and be kind to Vixen. So without further ado, I proudly present Vixen. (Yeah! Horraay! Cheers! Accolades! Accolades!)

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Well, this is the first time I've ever been invited to guest on someone else's blog. I know that most of us Bloggers are territorial; fiercely guarding our domains with a passion and persistence that belies the fact that it is actually just a tiny blip on the Internet radar. So for starters, I would like to thank my super cool host Mitesh (ain't that the truth!) for having the faith that I won't scare off his readers.

OK, now on to the gritty stuff. In his request, Mitesh wanted me to write something about me that isn't on any of my blogs. Being that I have four blogs and write about anything and everything under the sun, I really had to think about this one. Yeesh, I have to be all personal and stuff! Without further ado, let's delve into my Sexual Renaissance.
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First of all, I have to give you a back story to totally understand why I would even think the emergence of Vixen is anything to write home about. I was raised in a relatively loving home, and could get away with most of the childhood foibles. However, there was one thing that my parents made a BIG brouhaha about, on the advent of my Womanhood was, you guessed it, sex.

My dad is a minister in a very conservative church and it's been drummed into me since I was a teen the whole 'Virgin Until Marriage' philosophy. In fact, I'm sure that my parents would be able to handle me being a lesbian, marrying a guy they didn't approve of, landing in jail or any other number of things...but having SEX....oh my goodness, it would give my dad a heart attack.

If parents would just let their kids try and do everything they wanted to dabble in, it would remove the mystique of the 'taboo' and then their kids will end up in much less trouble!

Anyway, back to the story...I'm a silent Rebel. (not unlike ObiWan Kinobe or Han Solo-- alright that was gay, but) I don't openly oppose the system, I agree with the system and then go off and do whatever I want. So that is pretty much what happened. It took me a while to actually get up the nerve to rebel though...a loooong while.

I went through high school AND college clinging to the values that have been fostered in me. Sure, I dabbled in the forbidden fruit...having loooong makeout sessions with a few guys in college, but still never went all the way.

Meanwhile, I read voraciously, everything and anything that I could get my hands on. If it mentioned sex in any way shape, or form, I would read it and add it to my rapidly expanding knowledge.(She still has yet to share these with me.) I knew the technique...I knew what to do and was prepared for every step of the sexual evolution. I just didn't have the balls to do it yet.

I was 21, newly graduated from college and ready to try everything life had to offer. I had a dream job, my own place, was Miss Independent Diva with a sassy attitude who had pretty much tried all the no-nos at this point. All except one. (ahhh, the no-nos. I remember the first time I indulged in two gallons of juice for the first time. I was like a little humming bird that sucked netar from the sweetest of flower. But that's another story for another time. Be forewarned! The hangover is inconcievable.)

Anyway, I finally met some guy who charmed my pants off and I decided to take the plunge. I was sick and tired of being a Virgin, believe it or not. I felt that it was encumbering the full depths of my passion, and boy was I right.

You would think that having sex for the first time would tame the wild beast inside me. However, it was actually the opposite. I wanted more! It was like a drug. I actually feel sorry for my first lover (poor guy)...it was very hard for him to keep up with me. Not only did I have the knowledge of someone that had been screwing for a decade, I also had the naive innocence of a virgin.

After my first lover disintegrated...(turns out I WAS too sexual for him), I decided to actually take a step back from the whole sex thing. I mean, it's like a banquet...you eat at it voraciously at first, but after a while, you get...full.

Now, even though Lover One opened the doors to my Sexual Renaissance, it actually never really fully emerged until Lover Number Four. (Sorry, 2 and 3 couldn't keep up either).

This was actually about 4 years later. I'm a Libra, and Libras tend to be quite freaky in the bedroom. With Number 4 (who happened to be a Leo), he was quite freaky as well. AT LAST! I found a guy that wasn't afraid of too much sex, all the time, any time, anywhere.

Rumor has it the men tend to sexually peak in their 20s and women in their 40s. Leo was a couple of years younger than me, and it was with him that the Renaissance began. We tried everything and anything, handcuffs, different textures, role-playing, flavored condoms...you name it. He was up...I mean UP for anything and we were regular customers at the local neighbourhood sex shop.

Now, there isn't anything that I'm afraid to bring up in the boudoir. I am sexually confident, sexually aware and sexually liberated. And somehow...I think all this just adds to the allure.

Knowledge is power. The Renaissance still hasn't ended. But at least I can pinpoint where it began.

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Thank you Vixen. I hope you all enjoyed her little tale. It just helps to prove the age old adage: Sometimes when you really want to have fun, try out some flavored condoms. See it rhymes! It has to be true!

Peace all.

Long Time, No Post

2006-02-22T11:06:00.000-05:00

"Mitesh, you haven't posted in a little while.
Get off my case man! Don't you see. It's all an illusion. This whole b-logging thing. It's not real, man.
Mitesh, have you been doing mushrooms again?
Mushrooms are for the weak! I'm drinking fairy dust."

So fairy dust has been the plight of my blog. I've realized that the better my life is, the less I want to talk to you. HA! No really. I don't have any excuses for not writing other than uninspired phraselogy, boring topics and sheer laziness. So now that I'm at the bottom of this bottle of fairy dust, I think I'm gonna start writing again.

I've come across a phrase I really like: "Unicorns and Ambrosia". Use it in a sentence you say?

"How's everything today, Mitesh?" ... "Everything's unicorns and ambrosia, man. Definitely U and A." This actually replaced my not too heralded and oft misused phrase of 'totally tits'. For some reason I'd always mess up it's usage. Like in the above "How's everything today, Mitesh?"... "Everything's totally tit. Thanks for asking." Is a very acceptable usage. But for some reason I always ended up in situations like this. "Mitesh, I heard your grandma died."... "Totally mutha-fuckin' tits!"
Not good. You tend to lose a lot of friends and befuddle family members.

I saw Wolfmother this weekend. Sometimes I think rock and roll is dead. Then once a year or so I see a band and think... "Fuck yeah! These guys have testicles!"

Here's the basic recollection I have from the show.
Lead singer: Greatest fro ever (better than Napoleon Dynamite)
Bassist/Keyboadist: Jumps a lot
Drummer: No one ever loves drummers.
Lead Singer again (also neglected to mention he plays guitar): Are you playing guitar or just wailing hellasish tunes on your cock?
Bassist/Keyboadist: How do you not fall down or fly? Sometimes you make me feel like I'm in outer space when you tweak your sounds.

So Wolfmother ruled. But there was a group called "Krisis". The K makes them cool. Sometimes when you win the battle of the bands in high school you're not really that good. In fact, there's a good chance that people took pity on you because they thought that the lead singer was blind or a girl or something. But when you suck worse than the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever did suck, then you know you should get a job at McDonald's and really pursue your life long dream of not sucking. Whew! About 1/3 of the way through I wanted to gauge my eyes with a fork. But then when I could still hear them. Then I'd freak out because they'd still be the worse sounding than some bowel movements I've had... AND now I have no eyes. Not good.

That's pretty much my life. I hope you're enjoying. BTW, the girls at the show were plenty cute. Fun to flirt with. Even if it was only for a few minutes.

WikiWikiWhat?!?

2006-02-10T15:02:00.000-05:00

I love Wikipedia. It's my new source for everything I ever wanted to know from Geometric Algebra to what a schnorrers is. When it comes down to it, I love wikis.

I have started and failed many projects using a wiki. Not because of the wiki but because I suck. But wikis are powerful. They allow several people to add and organize content while tracking those changes all the while allowing quick formatting without having to know too much HTML.

I've used several wiki services in the past. Each range in price and service offered. I think the greatest part about wikis is the ease of use.

I've played around with PBWiki, Backpack (more than just a wiki), and StikiPad.

PBWiki was the first service I used. What I really liked about this it was really easy to get started. They have templates to get your look down and adding content in an organized manner was great. Also, there's a RSS feed to follow all the changes made and quick XML downloads of content. So you can walkaway with your project very easily. Oh! And I loved their sidebar. I found it very easy to link all content together in a nice little web.

More recently, I used Backpack. Backpack is the slimmed down version of Basecamp by 37signals. Signal vs. Noise is their insightful blog. And that's how I stumbled across Backpack. What I found really useful with Backpack is the functionality right at hand. I could add ToDo lists and forward relevant e-mails right to Backpack. Also, you get to edit the style sheets so your pages look all fancy. Kind of what I did with my background.

To be fair, I've just started playing around with StikiPad. But it seems really neat. The editting control is the first thing that catches my eye. Any edits that get made are highlighted. If more than one person edits it since your last visit, StikiPad highlights in different colors for each author.

Each are very similiar and difficult to tell which is best for you. Once you start to know how many people are working together and what type of involvement you need, then you can pick a system. It looks like Wikis are going to be an integral part of Web 2.0. I'm sure there's more services out there. I'm not sure what's going to set these services apart. Maybe collaborating with other, already established project sites.

What do you think about wikis? Have you played around with either your own privately run or publicly adminstered wiki?

PS I told you the word blog was stupid! Look! Everybody eJournal tonight!

HoboRun

2006-02-09T11:24:00.000-05:00

In the tradition of the campy 80s movie, Cannonball Run and with more humanitarianism than the maligned Bum Fight, I declared the need for a HoboRun.

This friendly competition wouldn't be limited to only hobos, but all inclusive of the entire drifting community. We'll include hobos, tramps and schnorrers. Yeah, I know no one really expects a schnorrer to win, but hey we're equal opportunity here. Absolutely no bums allowed. They just wouldn't get it.

Now, I was going to include migrant workers, but because of tax reason we've got to restrain ourselves. See the prize at hand isn't your ordinary booty. No we won't just have an oversized check. Rather, we'll have cold hard cash. That's right. Denominations numbering in over $25.

Plus, we'll have swill.
And plenty of it.

And not your ordinary swill brewed in a bathtub or moonshine. No this will be the highest quality whiskey brewed by our own Hobo Bob (pictured above). Hobo Bob has been brewing and bootlegging since the ripe old age of eight when his father use to sell to the local brothel. The recipe is generations old. Let me say this, its a delight to have Hobo Bob and the legacy he brings.

So the competition? Real simple. Get your way from NYC to LA by Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

"Well, Mitesh. This is simple. All I have to do is pack myself into a box and have myself planed across country."

"My crafty friend. You are quite the thinker! I must say. But did you ever think that maybe they may stick you in the freezing underbelly of the plane? You wouldn't enjoy your swill if you were dead."

"Ha, ha, ha! That's cold. I get it now!"

So be careful how you get there. But there are no rules in this competition. Except if we find any Yeggs they will immediately disqualified. This is dignified competition. Please have some restraint.

To all: Have a wonderful competition and see you in LA.

Men of Passion

2006-02-03T17:02:00.000-05:00

Thursday night I subwayed myself into the East Village to catch Woody Allen's "Match Point". I have a little thing for Scarlett Johansson.

Yeah, I thought she was cute in "Lost In Translation" and quirky in "Ghost World". But I never really gave her a second glance till I read her interview in Life magazine.

They asked her what she considered sexy. Now I can't recount word for word what she had to share, but what really stuck with me was she found weird things sexy. That's when I found her sexy.

Yeah, everyone looks at her and sees those amazing lips and those deeply seductive eyes. But only a handful of people have made her laugh so hard that she snorts. Or how she looks when she has to really pee. Or the way she greets strangers or handles a man whose flirting with her. Those little things, the weird things are sexy.

So besides my little thing for Johansson, I've heard over and over that this is a quality movie. With my appetite whetted, I trekked off to see this movie.

I really enjoyed the movie, but there's this moment in the movie where Chris, the protagonist, is asked "What do you want to do?" in regards to his life. "What do you want to do?"He knew what he didn't want to do: tennis, office job. But he never really had a passion in his life. Nothing to focus his energy on and create. But he does know this much, it has to be passionate. Out of the ordinary! What's really great, and where he was really lucky, is he had two women to symbolize these two lives. One, the emotionally unstable, but adventurous: Nola. And one, the daughter of a rich man, the ever stable and safe: Chloe. (By the way, both are very, very cute.)

So here he is: Safety or adventure? And he chooses? Hmmmm... Well watch the damn movie.

What matters more is he doesn't have a vision to guide his choice. He has nothing that wakes him up in the morning where he can say "FUCK YEAH!" He heart doesn't beat with passion and fire. He is complacent. Effectively dead. People get hurt. People get confused. And dammit! I just wanted to strangle him or grab him and scream "Grow up!"

In my personal opinion, a journey through life is greater than any single relationship created. Even with your dream women. And maybe this women serve as an inspiration for this journey.

So why in the world would a man even bother himself with a woman? Especially if this man is focused and on a journey? Well, many haven't. But some still do. But why do men want women?

Women. Men. Let me know if you liked "Match Point". Let me know if Angela Jolie's hotter than Scarlett Johansson. Let me know if I'm crazy. Thank you and I hope to hear from you.

It's Alive, It's ALIVE!!!

2006-02-02T13:25:00.000-05:00

It's finally done! I've added four months of posts to my new home. Finally. I was delightfully fascinated by how my posts have changed. Mainly I spell check, proofread and use pictures. Like this!

God I love America and the IntraWeb. I can do anything with them!

In the spirit of archiving, I wanted to point you to a couple of my favorite posts through the last four months. First, you can take a look at my man-crush on Gackt. No Johnny Deep, but really, who is. If that wasn't disturbing enough, you can take a look at my fascination with Migas and kitties. And how could I forget Chuck Norris?

On a more serious note you can look over the importance of being expressive. (Expect a post contrasting repression and refined expression in the near future.) I also talked about the importance of sincerity in attracting a woman. Look how bad my old ~~blog~~ eJournal use to be. It didn't have comments so I gave out an e-mail address. Crazy, huh? There's a post I really enjoyed about the brotherhood of man and some other like this one.

But I'd really like to hear which posts you really enjoy. Sound off. And let me know what you want more of, what you think sucks and what design changes need to happen.

Mitesh

Fine... Just one more picture of Liberace! And that's it! You're cut off.

Blog

2006-02-01T17:12:00.000-05:00

For eons now I've hated the word Blog. It makes little to no sense. It just sounds digusting. Like "Hey did you see the nasty blog I left for you?" or "Oh! I totally blogged all over that! Don't eat it!"

Isn't it gross? Even worse are the words that have come from blog. Like Blogosphere. ICK!!! I don't even want to get into how that turns my innards. You know there are words that we make up like Quizabuck and no one takes seriously. And there are words that really wonder if they're real like squab.

But how can we say Blogosphere without pissing ourselves or follow up with a "Just kidding!" I'm just waiting for the Internet Gods to say "Gotchya!"

So from henceforth (because all important things start with 'henceforth') blog and its deravatives will no longer be used. Rather we shall now refer to blog as a Duketastic.

Go ahead. Use it in a sentence. See how much this is? Ah... Now when I leave you a Duketastic you won't be mortified. Rather, you'll follow up with a gentle, sincere "Thank you." As if I had just finished dog sitting for you. How kind am I.

Seriously, we've got to come up with a better word than blog. It really does suck. Why not eJournal or QKitten?

Anyone?

Ashes and Snow

2006-01-31T14:25:00.000-05:00

"In exploring the shared language and poetic sensibilities of all animals, I am working towards rediscovering the common ground that once existed when people lived in harmony with animals. The images depict a world that is without beginning or end, here or there, past or present."
-- Gregory Colbert, creator of Ashes and Snow

Ashes and Snow is magnificent creation of Gregory Colbert. I first stumbled upon this site just expecting to poke around an art exhibit. To my surprise I not only found one of the singularly best designed web sites, but a truly multimedia experience. From films to snippets of book, sounds and pictures led me on an intoxicatingly heartfelt journey. I look forward to visiting this exhibit before it leaves the US. I unfortunately missed it when it came to NYC.

I've intentionally have not included pictures here because I feel it would be pornographic when isolated from the rest of the site. I strongly recommend viewing this site in Flash. I hope you love it as much as I do.

Site Notes: On a completely different topic, I've been adding the archives relatively diligently. I noticed it's been a week or so since I've added any new content. But there's a post in the makings. By the end of the week, I hope to have the rest of the site archives up as well as some of the finishing touches on the sites. Peace!

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

2006-01-23T14:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, and to be fair, this entire weekend was jammed packed with events. Sunday started off with getting up at sometime soon after noon. It was a glorious day! I hadn't gotten up after noon in far too long.

I like to spell Sunday F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L. Steelers vs. Broncos. Blue collar vs. yuppy. Coal Slumps vs. Rockie Mountains. A battle for the ages. Howie Cossell would have been ecstatic.

The Steelers had an outstanding display of football acumen, both on defense and on offense. But watching it with two Steelers fans you'd get the feeling that it wasn't good enough. That maybe, just maybe, it might slip right out of their hands. Because its seem to all the time. With the thrashing nearly complete I had to go watch my Taiwanese Modern Dance. Needless to say my two football friends (one an architect and one a photographer) questioned my manhood. Here's a brief synoposis provided by Clerks: The Animated Series! You can purchase this on Amazon. (God I feel like such a DVD peddling whore).

Randall: Is this a gay thing?
Leonardo Leonardo: No.
Randall: Are you sure?
Leonardo Leonardo: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessss.
Randall: *elbows Dante*

I, of course, was running on Indian Standard Time (for all those who don't know. I don't want to over-generalize or anything, but all Indians are late to everything all the time) and a belly full of beer and pizza.

Arriving late and sneaking into pre-performance lecture, I'm confronted with a little introduction in what I've gotten myself involved. To say the least, there was going to be baby oil involved. Yes. Baby oil. A group of people lathered in baby oil. The sentiments of my friends echoed through my head.

Randall: Is this a gay thing?
Leonardo Leonardo: No.
Randall: Are you sure?
Leonardo Leonardo: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessss.
Randall: *elbows Dante*

In all honesty, this is a wonderful idea. The baby oil was to represent the fluidity of movement experienced in water. The show was called 70% Water, which happens to be the percentage of water that inhabits both the earth and humans. And I didn't even realize how wonderful this was until I watched the show.

There were four different performances, leaving the homoerotic baby oil affair for last. One of my favorites was a choreographer detailing different events in her life. She weaved us through her life before dance, friends who didn't accomplish anything, her life with dance and her intoxication with form and formlessness, flirtations with lesbianism and life after dance. Lovely performance all around.

70% Water was prefaced with a 15 minute break when they prep the stage with plastic and baby oil. The dancers skidded across stage fully drenching themselves in baby oil. FUN!!! And no, it's not a gay thing. God! Where would you get an idea like that.

One of the best things about the baby oil, was the smell. It was so strong and yet so delicate. It just open my mind up to listening to what they had to share.

The group of six, two men and four women slide across the stage with amazing grace and strength. Each decisive movement was accompanied by a monosyllabic sound. I love monosyllabic sounds because they so easily resonate inside my body. It's kind of fun to feel a sound like this. OOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM... It started off very playfully at first as if like children. There's what seemed to be a fight between the men. Then there was a coupling of threes: one group of all women, the other group of two men and one women. Very sexual if you ask me. But the highlight, in my opinion was the finish. All six are lying on their sides hands grabbing the legs of another in a circle rhythmically changing "La, La, La". You make of it as you wish. I found it amazing.

At the end of the show I had a beautiful smile painted on my face. To chant and dance in unison with others is my dearest dream. I hope we get to do this.

"Remember... We are Eternal all this pain is an Illusion."

A desk to enlightenment and beyond

2006-01-20T17:38:00.000-05:00

Two nights ago I had an intense discussion in which we concluded that the economic system in which we live, be it communist or capitalist, is inherently irrelevant. What supercedes those is human dignity. But then what the fuck do I know, I was really drunk.

You ever get roped into conversations you don't really want to? Him and his girlfriend offered me some Chinese food. I first declined, but my insatiable appetite for Mu Shu and duck quickly changed my mind. I swear the conversation went like this:
Patriot: "Hey, this duck is great! Thanks man."
Red Commie Bastard: "I'm glad you like it. I think the Mu Shu was pretty good too, but don't you think our capitalistic tendancies and knee jerk reactions to market based economies have led us to yet another useless war?"
Patriot: "Yeah the Mu Shu is ... WHAAAA?!?!?!"

Certainly there's some inconsistencies in the above scene, like the Patriot eating Chinese food. But then again, he's being fed by a Commie Bastard. All mundane details aside, the conversation flowered into something interesting.
How many times have you had the Capitalist vs. Communist debate? And how many times has it boiled down to the following

Our capitalistic system isn't a true capitalistic system as in Laissez-faire
There has never been a truly communist system implement as Marx foresaw it. Meaning the proletariats are the focus. All systems claiming to be communist have really been socialist.
Mekrob isn't really any good. In fact God hates it so much he made it a curse word.
Comparing Democracy to Communism is like comparing apples to oranges. One dictates a political system, the other is a economic system.
When Buddha laughs, he's laughing at you.
Neither matter as long as human dignity/agency is allowed and the depth of human identity is allow to flourish

I moderately enjoyed the debate. I guess the biggest problem is, I didn't learn anything. I didn't see anything new. So it was fun to run the gambit, but I need more.

This condition of thinking through a problem looks stark past a simple issue of "What do I feel at this moment?" Thinking through a problem is amazing! It deepens your awareness of the world far more than you can imagine. But it doesn't contribute to your disposition. The awareness of that life is vast and so am I is something that few people ever reach. Then to go ahead and play with that intersection in a joyful manner is exquistely rare! And so we have figures like the laughing Buddha to remind us that "It doesn't matter in the end!" Well, not until you tie yourself up in it. Bound by the world is one thing that most everyone does.. Trying to break the binds is what tortured souls do. One broken from the binds, they become Buddhas and laugh. Then they can pluck on the strings that bind the rest of us till we are forced to break free all the while laughing at the fact that... well... I don't know... it's just funny. It really is.

So I have this wonderful little laughing Buddha on my desk. It's been taunting me. And I've been laughing with it. I swear everytime I look at it, I want to laugh. There's a tradition in Taoist Yoga where you practice laughing. Actually, it's not just Taoist. I've seen Indians gather together just to have a laugh. They practice laughing for an hour or so. But the Taoist take that feeling laughter and trie to just silence and capture it in their gut, which is the source of laughter. Think about how nothing else matters when you're laughing. Now imagine you had that feeling all your life. "Well, that's just not how the world works and that's just kind of the stuff that ummm... yeah!" Try thinking hard when your laughing. You can't! It's amazing.

People were laughing before they starting talking. It was probably one of the first sounds that escaped us and meant something to us.

Any case, laugh so more. I'm not going to say give up on thinking. It's fun. But laughing will always, in my mind, supercede thinking. Imagine dying with a deep hearty laugh? How cool would that be!

The Fairer Blogs

2006-01-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

I read over 200 blogs. Scratch that. I'm subscribed to over 200 blogs. Of which I read about 2.

I read only a handful of blogs on a daily basis. And I am quite suprised that so many are written by women. No, I'm not saying women are stupid (goddamn I can hear the bickering from here!) but there's an undeniable fact that most computer related activities, espeicially early adopters, are men. That and women are dumb.

Here's a few blogs I really adore. (Seriously, don't get your panties in a twist.) They range from cooking to yoga to blogging and more. I really admire the content and style of each author. Some are young, some are married, some are crazy. All of them are intense, passionate and insightful. So begins the list!

Chez Christine
Monami. So you want to be a cook? No! You will be a chef!
Christine is documenting her initiation into the world of precision cooking while she is under the tutelage of the ever watchful gatekeepers at Le Cordon Bleu. Plus she had this picture on her site.
http://chezchristine.typepad.com/chez_christine/

BL Ochman on Blogging
Scathing.
Boom!
That's it. She's all about taking the bullshit the average company passes as marketing and throwing in their face. She's fiesty, she a vetran and she's awesome.
http://www.whatsnextblog.com/

Design*Sponge
I really don't know her name. I could find it anywhere! But I couldn't not include her. (Does that actually count as a sentence?) As you may well know, I've recently moved to Brooklyn and now have my own little apartment which requires a little splash of paint and a touch of flair (I swear I'm not gay... Sometimes I wonder). Now I was going to leave her off my list because she doesn't have a name, but she likes Mates of State, so it's ok.
http://designsponge.blogspot.com

Kathy Sierra
Oh my God! This woman is like Liono. She has sight beyond sight. Her analysis is perceptive and usually on target ('Sideways' wasn't about knowing wine... not at its core IMO). That's not even half the story. She creates images for her blog that compliment her post in such an elegant manner that I can't even imagine being this good. I hope my osmotic abilities get pumped up an order of magnitude so I can hang in her league.
http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/

Kimberly Wilson
Where would I be without yoga? HipTranquilChick is a clothing line started by Kimberly out of DC. She has simple but attractive attire for the average yogini. So why in the hell am I reading her blog? Because, it's not just a blog. It's a podcast and I'm a podhead. But also because it's just darn insightful. She doesn't just talk about clothing or yoga, but an interesting mix focused on being a centered person in our crazy world. Besides, her voice is really cute.
http://hiptranquilchick.blogspot.com/

Sally Hogshead
This girl's intense. Maybe she's not a girl. But she's definitely intense. Like a heavy metal guitar riff. Pithy, insightful, no holds barred mantras for success in the corporate labrynth. You will succeed or you will die! (maybe I made that one up... or not!)
http://www.radicalcareering.com/hogblog/

Isabel Clark
I only found her today so I still checking her out. I don't think that sounded the way I wanted it to sound. Any case, she's a DC woman who focuses on health conscious meals. Check her out.
http://clarkwellness.blogspot.com/

Marie Forleo
Sassy, motivated and cute? Huh? I don't think I had a choice but to read her. She's a lovely, self assured woman of the world. And now she's a Nike Fitness Dance model. How cool is that? Did I mention cute?
http://marieforleo.blogspot.com/

To be fair, I've compiled a list of women I think suck. Wanna hear it? Well here it is:

Paris Hilton -- Graceless.
Smurfette -- tease. Need I say more?
Maureen Dowd -- Insular and backwards.
Alf -- for so many years I thought he was a woman. Turns out he's really asexual.
Mother Teresa -- Seriously, if you don't see it, I just can explain it to you. (I met someone who really believed this. He was silly.Too much Ayn Rand.)
Kali -- That bitch is going to take us all down.
Desperate Housewives -- they just suck

Well, that's it for me. I guess it's only fair that I leave you with my real opinion of women and intelligence. Far too long people have bickered back and forth about whose more intelligent and some taking far too much pride in intelligence. What better way to say it when someone else has already said it for me.

"Thoughts have no sex." -Clare Boothe Luce

Innervision by System of a Down

2006-01-05T12:55:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, I didn't necessarily fall in love with SoaD (Wikipedia) till "Toxicity". Yeah "Suite Pee" and "Sugar" were nice and were nice little scathing social, political commentaries. But I fell for them like a pre-teen for 98 degrees when Toxicity came out.

With an overflow of creativity, System of a Down released a companion album called "Steal this Album!" In the same vein as the Abbie Hoffman book its another challenging album. God, I love these guys.

I wanted to share the lyrics to InnerVision with you... So here you go:
SYSTEM OF A DOWN - Innervision Lyrics

I have a home
Longing to roam
I have to find you
i have to meet you

Signs of your face
Slowing your pace
I need your guidance
I need to seek my, innervision
Innervision

My pipols dance
Lost in a trance
Your sacred silence
Losing all violence

Stars in their place
Mirror your face
I have to find you
I have to seek my, innervision
Innervision.

It's never too late to reinvent the bicycle
A smile brings forth energy or life
Giving your force

It's never too late to reinvent the bicycle
A smile brings forth energy or life
Giving your force
Vision

There is only one true path to life
the road that leads to all, leads to one
(Innervision, innervision)
There is only one true path to life
the road that leads to one.
Innervision.

Your sacred silence,
Losing all violence.

Like any lyrics I share, it's only a small piece to the music. You can listen to System on Pandora and buy it at Amazon. Enjoy!

Resolutions

2005-12-31T12:58:00.000-05:00

I thought that it might be a little cliche that I making a resolution, but I think its nice to know several million people are honestly making an effort to improve their lives. To that end, I wanted to share my sincere efforts for next year.

First, I want to contribute personally to a strong, socially open group of high quality people. I'm particularly glad that I've moved to Brooklyn to start this endeavor.

Second, I want to make more people smile and feel at home in my presence.That they can be free and more innocent with me. Just so we can feel more joyful together. Help men find their mission and women to find their radiance.

Third, create a financial endeavor that intrigues and challenges me.

Fourth, become physically fit. So much so that my body moves with ease.

Fifth, master my pranic energy so I have flow and glow.

Sixth, tithe.

That seems like quite a hefty list for now. I hope that you have some wonderful goals set for yourself. And have some peace in your life!

The Octopus Project

2005-12-30T13:28:00.000-05:00

Through the hapless internet surfings of the day, I happened upon a small magazine called "Impose Magazine". (Personally I think they should change their name to Impose, but whatever.) Here's a little description from their MySpace Profile.*

"And if you think we're cool, well, you're wrong. We're the nerds of this music magazine business. We like music for the sake of liking music. If you can listen to a metal album after a hip-hop album, after an indie-rock album, after a punk album, after a country album, after a dance album, after a hardcore album, but before a jazz record, then we're the mag for you. We also rock it old-skool, DIY style. We know it's becoming increasing popular to "sell-out," but we're more into being poor and giving away our services. That's right we're free."

Ummm... sound delicious doesn't it.

On the cover of this month's magazine, was "The (International) Noise Conspiracy" (listen here). See how I put that picture. Right there? Huh? Pretty cool. They're one of my favorite bands. If you've heard them, check out "Refused". Somehow related to TINC.

If you look really close, you'll see "The Octopus Project".
THE OCTOPUS PROJECT! WTF?!?!?

I saw these guys at The Proletariat in Houston about three years ago. They rocked. I've got their sticker plastered on my bumper. And when ever anyone asks me, "Whose the Octopus Project" I have to say "They rock!" No more, no less.

Well now I say more.
They rock the casbah.
Bullshit you say?
Well listen to them and lay garlands and praise at their aural feet! If you dare.

Seriously, I really enjoy these guys. They all switch up instruments. There's only three of 'em (one is a cute chick.) They play all sorts of different instruments. There's different movements within the music. It's hypnotic and captivating. I hope you give a listen. This is what type of hell bent melodies spring forth from that rocking city known as Austin, TX.

I look forward to reading more from "Impose". I think they'll have a lot of interesting suggestions that I won't have the time or money to follow up on. Maybe I'll talk about Juxtapoz soon and how I found some of my favorite artists in there. Tomorrow I'll share with you my New Year's resolutions. At least the ones I want public.

*This whole MySpace thing is like crack. SuperCrack for crack babies. Crack for crack babies that were incubated in supercrackified embryoic fluids. God I love crack. And crack loves me.

Thank you

2005-12-30T02:05:00.000-05:00

When I write this blog, I assume that no one is reading. I was humbly reminded that people do read this. I'm truly grateful. Thank you.

Mitesh

Cute!

2005-12-27T14:06:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted anything awe inspiringly cute recenty. So here you go!

To accompany the cutest picture ever, I've included quotes from Mitch Hedberg.

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want them to, you know, I'm like, "Hey, wait, come back. Let me hold one of you...feed you a leaf."

Koala bears. They're so fuckin' cute, why do they gotta live so fuckin' far away from me. We should ship some of them over. And I will apprehend one. And hold him. And pet him on the back of his head.

Brotherhood of Men

2005-12-25T14:10:00.000-05:00

I was watching "Lord of the Rings" yesterday. When they flashed to a scene where Sam was showing compassion for Frodo.

This happens several times throughout the fim. The ring is quite a burden for anyone. It even tempts men of twice his size and stature. Sam has a genuine concern for his safety. Its a true bond of brothers. They work together to accomplish a larger than life task. And yet, whenever there's a show genuine affection, so many people assumes they must be gay!

Whatever happened to real brotherhoods? We never see men working together with real endearment. It's kind of silly if you ask me. I remember I was maybe 13 years old at scout camp. Some shit went down. I'm not sure what happened. But I took the time to comfort an 11 year old the only way a 13 year old knew how. It was genuine feeling because he suffered. Real affection. But not sexual.

The brotherhoods we have now are terribly weak. Frats, Boy Scouts, gangs? These are all distorted forms of brotherhood. We always find corrupted versions of initiation because its based on humiliation. Initiations always have a form of darkness followed by an initiation into light and hope. But we don't have these.

All we have is empty posturing. Trying to be bigger than the next person and pretending like we have our shit together.

I remember when I was younger I wondered if I was gay. I've even had my dad ask me if I was... twice. Not like "Are you gay?" "No dad." "Are you sure." but it was separated by five years. How terribly humilating. I didn't know how to handle myself among frat boys and the like. It took years to develop that. And I'll never be a part of them, but now I have fun with then without compromising my integrity. But I look for so much more.

There were days when men worked together for something bigger than themselves, something they really believed in. A small group of mature men, joining forces and journeying is the basis for a great many adventures: The Founding Fathers and the Declaration of Independence, the Knights of the Round Table and so many more. I think we have a cynical bent towards groups of men because all too often many of the ills of the world spring forth from groups of men working together in small minded self interest. But that doesn't mean we should throw the baby out with the bath water.

I've spent so much time on this because I'm looking for men in my life that yearn for something bigger before I pine away.* Something that can join us together and journey towards. I'm looking for my own brotherhood. Not acquaintances or friends, but confidants, journeymen.

*"The moon tells me a secret - my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own"
From "Reflection" by Tool

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
From "Imagine" by John Lennon

Mitesh

Women as Inspiration

2005-12-24T14:12:00.000-05:00

"A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes."

- Clare Boothe Luce

Through the life of a man, from childhood to adulthood, several women pass through it. First there is your mother, then sisters, peers, some loves and your wife. This is about your wife.

Your wife has one purpose for you in your life. She inspires. Her innocence, her gentle femininity is her gift to you. Yes women have the strength and gall to be CEOs and men have the sensitivity to change diapers and cook a meal; but her femininity will always outshine the most feminine of men.

Her willingness to hand herself over to you and your vision takes a strength that the average man just doesn't know about. Have you ever watched a couple, deeply in love, demonstrate a seamlessly, silent rapport? They can gesture with slight movements of the eyes or a simple turn of the hand to communicate how they feel. And smiles always seal the moment. It's quite beautiful. Those moments show they've found something deeper to share with each other. In these moments, she trusts you enough to flow with you.

Her beauty is an inspiration for change. In her eyes we find a simple abode that reminds me of distant memories. In those moments I remember what I fight for and the world I want to craft.

And then there are those moments where you betray her trust or she doesn't inspire you. The two are not husband and wife anymore, but enemies.

Share your vision. Share your depth. Share your scars. But make her earn those and teach her to heal. Teach her to inspire. If she no longer inspires, either deepen her or distant her. I hope, in deepest places of my heart, that we all have a woman that inspires our spirit to change the world. Peace be with you.

Socially Awkward

2005-12-22T14:12:00.000-05:00

I went to the gym yesterday for a little sauna session. All I wanted to do was sit in the sauna with my book and read. To my dismay, an older gentleman had snagged the seat with the best lighting. But no worries, I was still bent on reading my book.

Only ten words in to how I can DHV people was I politely interupted with "What kind of book are you reading?" Not really sure what that meant and not too willing to answer, I answered "Nonfiction." So if you know, I can be a jerk... a lot. Not that I want to be rude, but I really just wanted to read my book. Besides two guys wrapped in towels, sweating profusely isn't a normal situation for conversation. So I quickly answered and buried my nose into the book.

"I like to read books too." His statement was spiced with the accent of a middle Easterner. "I have never once in my life finished a book. But I have learned something, you must always keep on learning. Is that the point, yes?" Now I wasn't a jerk at this point because I politely listened and even carried on a whimsical conversation with him, if only for a moment. Then at the first sign of a break I was quick to leaf through my book again.

And then he did something that few people even have the gall to do. He said "It is to me surprising that the book, when I having a talk with you, is more important, yes?" And I thought, shit... this guy just called me out. I perked up, looked at him and set aside my book. Now his fortright comment caught my attention.

We carried on a conversation for what seemed like ten minutes. Another person came in and out during the conversation. But it got me thinking. Yeah this guy was nice. But that just wasn't enough for me to turn over my attention. Besides, I had be salivating over this book all day, waiting to turn page after page. At this point the book had more value to me. Until he called me out. A book will still be there, this man may have something to offer me. May is the key word. He may have more value. Until he ponied up a strong, but relevent comment, he actually didn't demonstrate higher value than the book. Which at this point meant a lot to me. The conversation didn't really mean too much to me in the end; he even gave me his name, but I have nothing to link his name to, so I can't remember him. Call me shallow, but its what happened.

Maybe I'll see him around again and I'll politely listen. Or maybe I'll steer the conversation in the direction I want and we can both learn something. Hell, if we become friends, we might start a band.

Alright... I started writing this about 3 hours ago before a senior engineer invited me and a handful of other into his office to smoke cigars and drinking beers and some whiskey. This job is awesome.

To Be Seen or to be a Success

2005-12-21T14:14:00.000-05:00

I was thinking today, which is more important to me? To be noticed or to fulfill my mission. And it has to be the latter. I would die to see my mission fulfilled. Even if I don't do it myself. I just hope I can share it with someone.

Have wonderful day and happy holidays!

Mitesh :)

Howard Stern's Last Day On Terrestrial Radio

2005-12-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

You probably know that Howard Stern is moving to Sirius radio. Today was his last day and in poor weather and the looming possibility of a strike there was still quite a crowd to greet and escort Stern to his new home.

There was nothing particularly special about any of the speeches, including Howard's. They were all pretty much standard run of the mill stuff, except for Artie. Artie was on MadTV, got drunk and kicked off. I posted a little something that addressed Artie a little earlier this week. Artie is a long time fan of the Stern show so he feels particularly blessed to be on the show.

He addressed the fans not as someone in the industry, but as a Representative of the fans. Screaming at the top of his lungs he express his gratitude to the fans and his love for the show. The audience seemed to understand the sincerity and depth of the bond. He really knew how to capture the love of the crowd. Plus he was drunk... And asked the crowd to pass him up a Vicodin.

So to Howard, Robbin, Fred, Gary and Artie... Good luck at the new home. I look forward to hearing all the antics, dirty jokes, racist comments* and drunk Scores girls. VODKA... STRAIGHT UP! THANK YOUUUUUUUU!!!!

http://www.deep-focus.com/flicker/images/privatep.jpg

That's Really Wierd

2005-12-16T02:22:00.000-05:00

I have some admiration for Dov Charney, but maybe he's just a weirdo. This comic was actually what inspired me to write that post. See if you can find what American Apparel inspired them to change?

Blessings, Luck and FUN!

2005-12-15T14:24:00.000-05:00

I want to try something. Are you game?

I want you to pick a number between 1 and 10...

I was thinking about luck recently and the Sufis have a saying:
"If you want young people to learn how to deal well with life, have them associate with lucky people."

Do you still have that number in your head.... hold in you mind.

How many lucky people do you know? Especially when you were a teenager?

Believing you are lucky and blessed is such a powerful motivation for approaching the world. I don't know how many people believe they are lucky or blessed, but its funny because when you meet someone who truly believes they are blessed*, you can feel it. Depending on your own maturity, you either hate or love them.

Hold the number in your mind... see it clearly there.

There's an Indian saying
"If you want something, bless it."

So feel blessed. There are people in the world who really want you to be blessed.

Oh that number... it's seven.

For some odd reason if I short circuited your rational mind then the subconscious has a natural tendency to levitate to the number seven. At least that's my guess. We all know that people consider the number seven lucky:

Seven whole notes in a scale
Human short term memory of 7 plus or minus 2
The seed of life has seven circles
Seven minute abs
Seven days of the week
Seven chakras

So why in the world would I bring up numerology in a little thing about luck? Well, in Tantric Numerology, seven represents the aura. The aura is a electro-magnetic protective shield. Personally I can't prove or disprove the idea of an aura. But you ever notice when someone with a strong sense of self walks into a room, the air in the room changes. Hell, even when someone is really depressed they suck away the energy of a room?

Any case, the stronger your aura is the more present you are. The more present you are, the more aware other people will be of you. If your have a commanding presence, certain people will want to serve you.

So seven might be a magical number. Then again maybe Three is the Magic Number.*

So have a blessed day. And one thing before you leave real quick... pick a number between one and four...don't think...say it. What is it?

Peace out!

*If you believe you are blessed and good things start to happen to you, when do you know you are blessed?

* The Blind Melons do this song really well.

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed yourself to be". - Patanjali

You ever notice

2005-12-14T14:25:00.000-05:00

You ever notice that when you feel alive, you don't compare yourself with others? Everything just seems to flow.

A Challenge

2005-12-13T15:10:00.000-05:00

I've been reading quite a bit about what makes people successful. One shared trait is successful people don't allow negative thoughts into their life. Nothing like "I can't", "Not me", or "I'm a failure." More so they don't even use wishy washy language: "I guess", "I hope", "I don't know if I can". It's all do or do not. The decision is clear.

So for the next seven days I will filter out all negatives from my stream of consciousness. Furthermore, I won't share negativity with others. Only positivity and neutrality. This is simple but very difficult to do. It takes quite a bit of awareness, patience and forgiveness.

Peace out!

Update: I actually started this on 12-11, but here are my realizations. First, I have a large amount of negativity that snakes it's way into my life. Certain things I think I desereve, I notice my body has a tense, negative reaction to. Secondly, it's really cool. I've got a smile on my face most of the day and I enjoy being with other positive people.

Homophobia, pride, manhood and legacy

2005-12-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

One of the milestones I look forward to in life is having a son and unearthing his manhood. No, not like that sicko! I want to, at the age of puberty, have him intimately become aware of the raw masculine energies and how these will serve him to fulfill his own vision.

I don't want my son to be cold hearted or a jerk like we find in high school. But I want him to self-aware, determined and strong. I want him to know his own strength through his silence and presence. These are, in my opinion, the basis of masculine energy.* He has to be able to perform the 3Ps: protect, provide and procreate. Then there's an assortment of feminine traits I think he has to have as well. But that's a different topic all together.

The 3Ps listed above are essential to being a man. Protect those you care for from the things that really threaten you. I'd hope most people would learn to charm these threats and win them as allies rather than destroy them, but if push comes to shove, so be it.

As each of us grows and matures, our needs become more amorphous and more internally based. At first we require the basics: food, shelter and water. Easy enough. But as we grow we need more psychological, intellectual and emotional substance. A fully aware man knows where to mine these gems and can even teach others how to secure it for themselves.

Finally procreation. This is more than woman and man in copulation. But it is important. Rather, it is being able to dance with all feminine energies from the moon to a though that keeps you awake at night. There are ways to move and penetrate these energies with your own determination and presence. Dancing with these energies allow for balance within a masculine man.

So why this long winded introduction? On the way to work I listen to Howard Stern. He makes me laugh and he cares about the people who are close to him. But there was an archived segment where Artie was being taken out by guys from Queer Eye. Artie happens to be a gambling, drinking long shoreman turned comedian from Jersey. Not necessarily your most open minded of individuals. In the segment he's tremendously homophobic and yet charmingly funny at the same time, but he was also drunk off his ass.

This got me thinking a bit about high school and how people are so worried about being called a fag. It sucks to be label that. It's terribly emasculating. So then I thought, "How would I feel if my son sexually enjoys men?" Personally, I'd consider myself a failure to evoke his masculine essence, at least 1/3 of it.

That, by the way, is my first gut reaction. More important than anything else to me, is he happy and serving his vision in life. Besides creating a genetic legacy, my first glance it would seem that not mating with women is a problem with the 3Ps. But if he's gay and it's a sincere and natural expression of his truest nature then a form of procreation will manifest. And I may not know how it does, I just need to have the openness and awareness to nurture it. So even if my lineage is passed on through my genetics, my memes will be. And unless your genes can encode your memes it means very little to me.

I hope if my son is gay, that I won't be phased because I have taught him to be a man. Rather, if I've done my job, his attraction to men is a sincere and natural expression of his infinite nature and I will be simply overjoyed to know that he has the courage and trust to share this with me.

Mitesh

PS... If the Sacred Geometry work above intrigues you, there's an interesting discussion of it in The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life Vol 2.

* David Deida reviews the difference between masculine and feminine essences here.

Celebration

2005-12-10T15:13:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up and felt like celebrating. It's not that there's something special other that its today. Today is special and I wanted to share that with you.

"Celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing."
-- Tool from the hymn "Parabola"

Ahhhhh.... That was nice. I'm starting to celebrate more. Everyday and every interaction yearns to be a celebration. Can I be the best person I can be today? I have a deep sense that my goal in life, my worship in life, is through celebration. I hope you can join me in this.

Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget my own mortality. That I have a finite time in this body and on this earth. That every moment, every chance I want to fill with the best possible interaction. I don't want mediocrity or boredom. If someone asks me "Are you happy." I hope to never again respond "I don't know. I guess." A simple knowing yes will do.

Life is abundant. There is so much life around me. And I love choosing it over and over again. Life is beautiful, crazy and soooo much more. I hope we can share some joy today.

Celebrate.

Movies

2005-12-08T15:14:00.000-05:00

I've started a little thread called <Geek_On_This>. This is for the weird things that really capture my attention and I really have to share. My inaugural <Geek_On_This> post is about movies.

Not just any movie. Not just one type of movie. But a lot of movies. On the cheap.

God only knows what mushroom induced trip inspired this insane offer, but I'm content in knowing that it exists. Where else will you find the Fury that is Kung Fu packaged together with an Explosion of Ninjas.

<Psst.. I will kick you in the head when you're not looking>

This is more than just a deal... it's more than a steal. It like when it starts raining pancakes. Yes it is that good with syrup on top. I think several children were sacrificed some esoteric evil deity in order for this much goodness to be packaged together. Seriously! 50 DVDs of absolute ninja kicking, kung fu-ing crap! Only $25! Needless to say, this will be purchased. Unless, some random benevolent soul decides to bite the bullet and purchase it for me. <Achem!> I can only watched each one once. On the level, how many times can you really watch this? How many could anyone really get through?

Well that's pretty much the first <Geek_On_This>. I don't promise there'll be any more, but if there are, enjoy!

Oh! One last thing on the crazy Martial Arts box set. Unfortunately, at this time there is no Chuck Norris videos included. It seems that he karate chopped himself out of the master disc. How saddening. He's been know to do things like that on occasion.

I'm a Winner!

2005-12-08T15:13:00.000-05:00

I have just been informed, despite the incalculable odds against me, that I have won the following... CLICK HERE.

InBubbleWrap is a pretty interesting website especially if you're familiar with Woot. You just don't have to pay for anything. I don't know how they make money and I don't care. Just as long as they don't spam me. Which they don't. <PHEW!>

In other news for winners, I honored to mentioned that someone has won the office football pool. Again. This time getting 15 out of 16 picks. I rule!

Be a winner... NOW!

Dov Charney Is Don Swarmy

2005-12-07T15:16:00.000-05:00

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

American Apparel (AA) has been making a splash in the clothing industry over the last few years. And at the forefront is Dov Charney. Dov plays vital role in AA being sexy, alluring and ingenious. I have so many mixed feelings about this madman that it makes a little mad thinking about it. Maybe it just that he's a genius.

When I visited the NYC American Apparel store on Lexington I was expecting something... more. I had handled a select few AA products. I had read a small mountain of work on their ethos and their marketing panache. No logo, little advertisement... all word of mouth. I knew his highly sexual nature and his penchant for off the wall antics. All of which I applaud.

My first impression to the ultra-hip store was basic nonchalance. I wasn't swayed one way or another. I swaggered through the store making note of the little things. It was well presented. Not like the prom queens of Dolce and Gabanna, but more like the little picnic dinner like mom so thought fully prepared. It wasn't fancy or overly pretentious. At least at first glance.

I think the first thing that really jumped out at me was the 1960s porn magazine covers. Nothing too fancy. It was a celebration of sexuality in its rawest form. No airbrushing. No fake tits. Nothing more complicated than simple fantasies. This is a personal hot button for me. I love it when something's raw. Its alluring and intimidating. Like that old factory your friend lives in. Broken windows and floors still scarred from heavy loads being pushed around. It's raw, but genuine. But that's when my allure with AA started to fall apart.

I expected more from them. I wanted everything to be a little grittier. And nothing was cutting it. The clothes lacked that yearning to be lived in. The people were youthful. Not necessarily sexual; only as attractive as youthfulness will allow. Behind the raw images lay a well placed, all too polished structure. Even the brushed metal clothing racks bothered me now. It wasn't who AA was suppose to be. They were hypocrites at that moment. They betrayed their raw, fleshy persona. They took pride in this. It wasn't like some saint taking up the clohes of a pauper. It was just betrayal.

I don't mind the raw sexuality Dov promotes. I've never really cared for what most people try to pass off as sexy. You know, the ultra-refined bar girl who surprising lacks all sense of self respect. I expect women, men, children, people to lack in some area of their life. It really makes them human. But when they try to paint over their cracks with some thinly placed paint, that's really annoying.

I guess what I see is the reverse in AA. Yes, we're naked. We're chubby. We're raw. We're human. And then not everything in his stores revels in that. He bitch slaps me when he has a polished look to it. Now its just dirty.

This by no means takes away from Dov's genius. It doesn't take a genius to know sex sells. He's a genius for a return to the grittiness of sexuality. And his genius is rooted in his sexuality. Some how I wanted to talk about how genius and sexuality are connected and they are. I just don't know if I'm capable of doing it. But there's so much more to sex than what Dov or Madison Ave. have to offer.

"Sex energy is the creative energy of all geniuses. There never has been, and never will be a great leader, builder, or artist lacking in this driving force of sex."
- Napoleon Hill

Peace all!

Not Blogging?!

2005-12-06T15:22:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't written in a little while... To tide over the insatiable masses I provide you with the following link. You will be overjoyed! You will be delighted! You will be terrified...

http://www.gothamist.com/archives/2005/12/04/sunday_afternoo.php

The Perils of Boxed Wine

2005-12-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

I worked at a small charming WholeFood Market in Houston in December of 2002 after being unemployed for one year. Almost to day! At this point, I'd already gotten to know a handful of people who worked at the store and been hanging out with them for several months. So I decided, why not work there.

Around the same time all twenty something year olds start to get the same thought. What am I doing for New Years Eve? Well... that year, I solved that problem. I decided to throw a party.

If there's one thing I miss about my WholeFoods crew is they knew how to have a good time. Keg+2 DJs+50 raucous people = Good time... Period. Newton proved in the 1600s.

The night started of pretty uneventfully... around 10:30 a fair amount of people started showing up. Everyone eager to get the night started with a bang. Unfortunately, that also seemed to mean bringing me a bottle of alcohol as well. I had a half empty bottle of Captain Morgan® Parrot Bay coconut rum sitting in my bar a year later.

Then walked in Bode. Let me tell you a bit about John. Bode's a 6'2" lanky red haired 21 y/o who loved to cook, skate and chill. Despite his propensity for chilling, he knew when and how to party. He hailed from East Texas and knew people that christened the Shampoo Stick (another story for another time.) Every time I'd see Bode he'd tell me something about a new trick he's working on or how he eat some concrete pretty hard last week. Now I'm not much of skater, but we both love Metal and would enjoy Playstation sessions backdropped by Seplutura, Slayer and Clutch.

So in walks Bode with a five liter box of wine greedily clutched in his paw. "What's going on Bode?" ... Without missing a beat, he turns to the room, raises high his box of wine and with militant gusto screams "We're gonna get drunk tonight!" Everyone responded with agreement and the party was on!

This wine was no ordinary wine. Boxes and wine were really two separate things back in ancient Rome. Believe me, I've been there. This alchemical creation of boxes and wine is of the unholy kind. And this particular box of wine was the unholiest of the unholy. It poured a vibrant hot pink color. Not slightly pink like "Oh, his shirt's kind of gay." No. It was totally flaming. It's that color pink that cute punk girl dyed her hair when you were in high school. It's the color pink that could only drape a broken man dressed in an elephant costume designed to entertain small, incoherent children. This pink was toxic. It burned my eyes and soul.

Being the host of the party, I let Bode go on his way and I attended to other party needs like tapping the keg, getting a drink or two for the DJ and ritualistically burning a piece of art for the sanity of an artist. All in all, a rather tame party. By one thirty most people were rather toasted. And all them were being graciously entertained by none other than Bode.

John was clumsily propped on the banister leading everyone in song and revelry when I happened to first catch a glimpse. Happily performing I didn't bother him. "Mitesh! MITESH!!!!!!"... "John... Loved the song!" ... "Mitesh... Let me ... let me show you how much I've drunk!" At this point I noticed that the box of wine suspiciously lacked a box. This is how evil boxed wine is! All he held was an almost empty plastic bag with a spout in one corner. "Look!"... He had definitely an entire bag of wine not through any conventional means. You know, pouring it into a drinking container like a cup or mug. Rather he suspended it high about his head, face turned up, mouth gaping wide. Then he turned the knob on the spout which poured volumes of pink liquid. "There's another bag in your freezer!" At this point I was happy to know he only drank 2.5 liters. Five is right out.

If I know anything about John is that he's a champ. I've only seen him throw up once and it wasn't that night. He continued to enjoy the party as Tommy and Veronica helped him in his festive ways. I don't know when John left. But a few days later, playing some dominoes with Tommy and Wayne that second bag of evil wine showed up.

Lessoned learned... Never, ever drink boxed wine.

Peace out!

"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. "

Oh what a wonderful day!

2005-12-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY PARENTS ANYMORE!

I'll be taking the place of an old CMU friend in a picturesque brownstone located in Fort Greene Brooklyn. Fort Greene is a beautiful part of Brooklyn that's been recently gentrified/restored. It doesn't have all the pretentious hipsters of Williamsburg nor does it have the suburban air of Park Slope.

It's been about a year and a half since I moved back to my parents' house in July '04. I had lived in Houston, TX working as a software developer, baker, a delinquent, a yogi and dilettante. Good times.

Since I moved back, I knew I wanted to live in Brooklyn because of its quirky attitude, chill atmosphere and propensity for everything that's a little weird. It's not like the Village or SOHO or the Upper East Side, each very interesting in their own right. The NY Observer did an interesting piece on Brooklyn called "Welcome to Schnooklyn", basically noting that people have an interesting love affair with this boro.

I look forward to shopping at the Co-Op, drinking at Brooklyn Brewery, walking through Prospect Park, watching skaters in Williamsburg, eating spicy Jamaican food in Flatbush and watching people scarf down hundreds of hot dogs at professional speeds in Coney Island. That's just the beginning.

I know you've all been waiting for... What does my place look like with Google Earth? Well here it is:

More impressive is looking the age of the surrounding buildings.

My brownstone was recently restored and is listed as younger than 5 years old, but the surrounding brownstones were built between 1850 and 1925. I can just taste all that history!

Now that I've shown you where I live, please don't stalk me... well, unless you're intelligent, cute and female (No Scott, you can't stalk me.)

I look forward to moving and I can't wait for you to visit me. I think the best part about this place is, I don't have to live with my parents anymore!

Mitesh

PS... There's a picture of a kute kitty on my blog! k?!

Craziest Spam Ever!

2005-11-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

All of a sudden spammers are sending me thought provoking messages:

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

The only possible form of exercise is to talk, not to walk.
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.

Death, Imminence, Clarity and Purpose

2005-11-29T15:30:00.000-05:00

The Tibetan book of the Dead provides a preliminary meditation for death. To always remember that death is imminent.

We all try to escape the inevitability of death or try to forget about it's presence. We try to cheat death or prolong it. Even on our deathbed we try not to feel the pain of death. Heidegger even notes in Being and Time (supplemental notes here) that even at a funeral, in the presence of a loved one's death, we don't even dare submit ourselves to it's power. Rather we find ourselves lulling about as if it almost did happen.

Every time I place my own impermanence next to what I'm doing, I usually get a response like "Oh shit. I should be bothering with this." It helps clear my way. On rare occasions I get the response "Yes. This is something I can bring with me to death."

"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss. "

-- "Wallstreet" right before Charlie Sheen's character is about to be carted off by the SEC

Facing death reveals your character and your character defines your story. Your story gives you a purpose for existing. It develops your character and refines you. When you truly have a purpose and humbly submit that to life, death and everything in between you give it your gold. And the Universe, your Soul will give you every single resource and challenge to help you complete that purpose. When you express and share it with everyone in a unique way (because everyone IS unique and infinite) without hesitation or fear you naturally attract those people who get it. They harmonize and resonate with your gift and presence. You become more than just a 'guy'. You are a man. A man of purpose. A man of true passion. And when you express it, you are truly radiant. Much, much more than the gold you gave.

I can go on and on about this. I can tell you about how women (truly beautiful women) are attract to this type of man. I can tell you have there have been a handful of men like this in the past. I can tell you about initiation rights in tribal societies designed to make you into a man. But more importantly I must tell you that you have to choose this. It is self initiation. No one else can tell you that you are ready. DON'T BE NEUTRAL! You might as well cut off your balls and throw then off a cliff if you plan on being neutral.

Thank giving Day Evening

2005-11-25T15:31:00.000-05:00

After the turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes, I attended a little family get together where this man sung several Bollywood hits.

I had absolutely no clue what any of these songs were as I've never liked Bollywood productions even though I've seen about a dozen of them. I can never quite understand what's going on, but I do know that there's a good guy, a bad guy, a woman, a fight scene and several dance scenes. That's the basic formula for any Bollywood movie.

But I digress. Several of these songs had some HI-LAR-IOUS moments in it. I was lucky enough to grab one such moment with my cell phone voice recorder. The glitch is, I don't know how to get it off the phone. But I promise I'll share the second I do.

Turkey Day

2005-11-24T15:32:00.000-05:00

Today's Turkey Day. A day infamous for six hours of football, overeating and basic family tension. Thank God!

What I really love about Thanksgiving isn't the average culinary abominations or the drunken uncle visiting from his latest hobo adventure, but the start of the holiday shopping season. Yeah, yeah I know I saw X-mas advertisements on Halloween and the X-box 360 was launched earlier this week. But tomorrow is Black Friday. In it's customer-crowded infamy, I'm surprised so many people still make the trip to the malls, wait in line and buy, buy, buy!

Many people, egged on by Adbusters, have even reverted to taking passive protest actions deeming tomorrow Buy Nothing Day. What I really like that the average customer can re-empower themselves. Most people don't realize the constant and all pervasive messages we see probing us to buy the latest gadget, wear the newest, shiniest dress or flaunt that antique dodad.

So hooray for self-determination and empowerment of the people. I know that the average company doesn't really care about me beyond my checkbook. However, I give big props to companies that truly love their products: Google, American Apparel and Stormhoek. But how many people do you know define themselves through the products they use? Or better yet, how many people do you disqualify based upon the product they use? What you don't listen to LPs? Then you really don't appreciate music. Hey not wearing Campers? You're not old school. Never heard of Dale Chihuly? Well then you don't know art.

The complicated posturings we do never truly communicate our depth and our truth. Only through this do we ever show our strength, our innocence and our beauty. So dress well, enjoy your gadgets, have an ego, but don't forget, which is to say remember, we are eternal all this pain is an illusion.

Mitesh

Austin, TX

2005-11-23T15:36:00.000-05:00

Today I flew into Austin Tejas... I haven't been back to Texas (as you Americans call it) in quite sometime. Austin is a lovely little town that is as vibrant as any city out there with out the pretension of NYC or GAP feel of Bean Town.

Any case, if you happen to make it down to Austin, check out the parks where you can pick up a game of Frisbee Golf with just about any hippie you want. Also stop by Barton Springs which is always 70 degrees! Means it's cool during the summer and warm during the winter. Today it's in the 70s so it perfect outdoors. I left NJ today where it was in the 40s. So to all those back on the east coast, neener-neener-neener!

At night time, go to just about any bar and you'll be pretty much guaranteed a pretty decent act. So I've gotta run, my sis and bro are bitching that we have to go shopping. Peace!

Migas

2005-11-23T15:34:00.000-05:00

Today I had Migas for the first time in about a two years. Migas is a wonderful multitasking meal that I've eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner and especially late night drunken food excursion.

Migas is not for the weak of stomach. Its a heavenly combination of tortilla chips. salsa and eggs scrambled together. Delicious. I like the eggs and chips smothered with green tomatillos salsa and a side of sausage.

If you make your way to Texas or the Southwest be sure to indulge your taste buds with this savory dish.

Sincerity and Men

2005-11-21T15:38:00.000-05:00

This is one of the most interesting posts I've read in a long time. It's slightly ironic to read about a pimp being a gentlemen when most people I meet are trying to be pimp.

I had a long conversation with a friend of mine about how men and women interact. It's funny how so many people have forgotten the simplicity of sincerity. We want models, rock stars and so much more, but sometimes we just beg for sincere curiosity and some self-respect. We're always looking for lines or routines to run in order to meet some one, but a sincerely asked question with an honest pause after wards maybe plenty to meet a high caliber woman.

I hate how women assume I would only go after a woman because she's hot. But if she has no personality or, and this is far more important to me, doesn't have the capacity to trust me, then she's purely a waste of my time. And I've met plenty of nice women who just don't get me. And I've met plenty of bitches (and I use this term in the most loving way possible) who didn't even take a moment of their precious time to met me. That's cool with me because I can easily dust her off.

So what really makes a great woman? I'm trying to figure it out myself. Drop me a line if you know: mmaster.20005450@bloglines.com

Craziest Webpage

2005-11-18T15:42:00.000-05:00

This is the MillionDollar Homepage. For $1 you can buy 1 pixel of space. They're sold in incriments of 10x10 pixels as a minimum. It has 10,000 squares available for purchase (100x100) making it a possible $1,000,000 homepage.

I would never click on any of these advertisements. Well, not when I'm at work. Or with anyone in the house. Or with my cat around. But I'm actually kind of curious to see if there's some funny sites on here.

Power to the marketplace!

Craziest Webpage

2005-11-18T15:39:00.000-05:00

Power to the marketplace!

The Challege of Desperation

2005-11-15T15:43:00.000-05:00

The Beginning
I read Ramit Sethi's I Will Teach You to Be Rich blog as a resource for entrepreneurial thinking. Today he posted an excerpt from another blog about his "rich person thinking". Personally, I think she mean that to mean so much more than just rich person thinking such as spoiled brat, lucky, unaware and some other things most people think when they think about rich people.

Despite all that, I still wanted to see what she had to say. So I clicked on over to the original blog post.

What really caught my eye were the sentences before Ramit's excerpt.
"...I've had to pay out-of-pocket for random-ass surgeries, medical equipment, car wrecks, and funerals, to name a few. Rich people don't think like me because they don't know this desperation - and that's why they get richer."

The Middle
Now I'm fully aware of this desperation. I've broken my foot while working at a just above minimum wage job. My health insurance hadn't kicked in yet. I had mortgage payments I couldn't afford and debt that piled up from both ignorance and negligence. Woe was me.

All that time though, I've been privy to the financial gifts of my parent or others around me. It's not easy to admit. But it's been there for me. In the past, I've sucked with money. I've had no sense of its worth, where it comes from and what it was for other than to give me some things I wanted. It was nice to be able to buy a 27" TV, but that doesn't really mean anything to me.

I've never cared for money, well not the way my parents did. Money was first and foremost because it served the family. Fair enough. But it stole them from me. And I hated it. I hate corporate America for that basic reason. Hell, I hate my parents for that reason. But they did what they felt was right. But it was their relationship with money that created my hatred for it. (Oddly enough, I'm fucking awesome at spending money.)

Because of that, I always saw rich people as cheats. Some see them as people who don't work hard or were give that fate or something else. But I saw them as polluters, thieves and charlatans. There's plenty of evidence to back that up. There's a saying that behind every fortune there's a crime. Hell, I worked for Enron.

The End
Recently, my whole relationship with money has changed. For the better. If you've been following along, you've seen me post what I feel is different between wealthy and rich.

Now's a new twist. What does it mean to be prosperous. For me, its intimately tied with your purpose in life which transcends your need for survival, procreation or fulfilling your ego. Rather, it is and always has been a service to something far greater than you.

Prosperity is the acknowledgement of the greater community, of life affirming your mission. It validates your purpose by giving you the resources you need. And why wouldn't it. Life said yes to you. Years ago. It chose you. It gave you awareness. It gave you self-awareness. One of our most cherished, and all to often forgotten human characteristics. Why would life want you to have poverty? Poverty is man made. Happiness is our birthright. Holiness and wealth, true riches are our birthright.

The Challenge
By no means has my new found relationship with money coalesced into something tangible. And you can doubt me all you want. And that's fine. I accept your doubt. I just hope you pray I see past it anyways.

But the real challenge is not to be that polluter or cheater or charlatan. I have to be so much more to be the man I need to be. I need to fill my world with gifts of adoration. I don't know if I will do this, but that I must.

This much I do know. I know I will not carry on a tradition of scarcity. I will not carry on a tradition of just scraping by. I will not, I will not, I will not. That is not my legacy. I would rather die than give up.

There is no right answer

2005-11-14T15:46:00.000-05:00

I saw this phrase twice today. Third times a charm.

1+1=2... not 4 or 7 or 23.... right. I get it. But that's not what I'm talking about.

There is no right answer when it comes to...

Just about everything that's human. People have certain behaviors and dispositions that change from minute to minute. We have whims that pass through us and are fogotten a moment later. We like to be seduced.

We like shiny objects, things that make sense, things that don't make sense. We want our hearts to skip a beat or gasp for air. We want to feel, deeply feel, like we are doing the right thing. We need to flow.

Flow just happens. It forgets the thinking mind. And it moves past it. It allows everything and everyone to exist and you react with love for yourself first and other next, in my humble opinion. You learn how to protect yourself and stand with dignity in flow. Then you shower other with your love and understand or even anger and frustration... now that's grace. Especially if it wakes them up!

But what do we know?

46&2

2005-11-11T12:37:00.000-05:00

I came across Pandora which is a music service based upon the data compiled in the Music Genome Project. All boring stuff aside, Pandora asks you to enter a song you like, breaks it down based upon basic musical qualities and cross references that data with their database. What seems to emerge is a whole shit load of pure goodness.

I entered 46&2 a song by Tool and the inspiration for the title of this blog. After several minutes (yeah... way too long!) they returned one selection. The selection wasn't what inspired me as they explicitly stated they were going to play a song from Tool to start me off. Rather it was the in depth description provided that blew me away. Read on dear reader:

"Based on what you've told us so far, we're playing this track because it features hard rock roots, mild rhythmic syncopation, a subtle use of vocal harmony, minor key tonality and demanding instrumental part writing."

I've used several other referential services like Rhapsody and eMusic to help me gain a sense of what I'd like. Needless to say if I entered Tool, I'd always get something like A Perfect Circle or the Deftones. No problem with that, but they don't necessarily share the same musical components.

So then came the real test. What songs will play next? The Ritual by Testament came on next. Never really heard of it even though I've heard of Testament even though I've never really explored their catalog. It's pretty decent. What I'm hoping for was a little more base and drumming which is something I love about Tool. So at this point I could vote it down or up. Let's find out what happens when I vote it down.

So it moved me right on to the next song by Anthrax. Pretty good. A little more hard pounding than Tool, but still classic metal.

All in all, I'm very hopeful and looking forward to being able to test this service.

Disclaimer: I have always had and always will have better taste in music. This is a fact. There are no opinions here. Your ability to differentiate complex sounds make you tonal peon and you deserve a fate worse than death. May the dark lords of Ragnarök hunt your morbid soul till the ends of the earth and feast upon your flesh. So it is written.

I feel almost morally obliged to reference you to my source for Pandora. While it doesn't really talk to much about the service, it does talk about the creator and his past business. Very intriguing if you like to hear how persistence is one of the keys to success.

Update: Apparently the service is getting pounded and crashes on occasion. Not exactly best selling point. I definitely won't be paying any money for this till they get that fixed.

There is one feature I wish I could work with. What if they categorized all their attributes (from above we have the attribute subtle use of vocal harmony from the vocal category) and let me pick which ones I wanted. Then it would return a list of groups that met this criteria. I couldn't imagine picking more than 4 or 5 attributes for a song unless I was trying to break the system.

She's the Queen of the Harpies! Queen of the Harpies! Here's your crown your majesty! Queen of the Harpies!

2005-11-11T00:41:00.000-05:00

I was reading a blog this morning, trying to decide if it's for me. While exploring the archives, I came across this post.

Now I don't normally give up on something just because it happens to have a topic I don't care for... But for Christ's sake! This is Hanson. I thought they were dead or sent to the moon.

Hanson happened to play in a local mall about an eternity ago. I was high school at the time. So a few of my friends decided they'd try to cause some sort of ruckus. The audience was relegated to the first floor with Hanson looking from on high on the second floor. All access to the second floor was closed off. Which is great because you don't want to fuck with Hanson. Conveniently placed for my friends was a little indoor water fall. So before the show started they scaled that mutha.

I don't know how they got away with it. But they were up there and all proud of themselves. They really stuck it to the man. After their five minutes alone with Hanson they remembered that Hanson sucked so they were getting ready to leave. But Hanson was already on stage and there was earthly escape. They beckoned their hellish demise resulting the dreadful machinations of the harpies known as Hanson. Sorry... you wanted that in English. HA! They suck! They had to listen to HANSON for over an hour! Suckers!

When things don't add up

2005-11-09T12:41:00.000-05:00

I was reading a bit about Social Security and came across this wonderful graph.

Can anyone find what's wrong with it? This is just one of the worst graphs I've ever seen. Well other than this one.

Alright... I just wanted a kitty picture.

Truck vs. Bridge

2005-11-09T00:42:00.000-05:00

On the way into work today I saw a sign that said "TRUCK VS. BRIDGE"

All I could think of was...

"SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! SEE TRUCK VS. BRIDGE! In an all out battle royal. come for the devastation. Stay for the mayhem!"

I think the bridge won.

The Power of Nature

2005-11-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

I was reading one man's description of a hurricane:

Finally by daybreak the noise was so deafening even I couldn’t sleep.

I got up and took a seat by my picture window. The show was thrilling. The wind and rain flew horizontal, bending palm trees almost parallel to the ground. On the pool deck underneath me, bricks started popping out of the cement. The stairwell ‘Exit’ sign blew off in a shower of sparks.

A gorgeous 60-foot yacht broke loose of all ropes, but one. It spun around, floating in the entrance to the marina. If the last rope went, it would take out the pier and a few more sleek, luxury boats downwind. But the last rope held, and right after the storm, the owner came and secured her again.

The mass of sailboats bobbing in the bay that I wake up to each day were not so lucky. I watched one by one, as Wilma methodically sunk five of them. After the storm I noticed a sixth, with only a mast sticking out of the water at a cruel angle.

When I finally got out and walked around afterward, I realized how fortunate I had been.

Wow! My entire body shuddered in awe as I read about the sheer power of a hurricane.

I think there's something admirable about people who are able to be swept away by something powerful. It's so emancipating. I'd imagine death is just like that.

What would you rather lose?

2005-11-07T12:44:00.000-05:00

I was listening to the local alternative radio station in NYC and they raised an interesting question.

"Would you rather lose a hand or be impotent?"

C'mon guys? It's only a hand... right? Easy enough. This was also with the little caveat of successful raising of the flag, so to speak, every one in five chances.

Then the next question.

"Be impotent or... lose a leg."

No just to the knee but all the way up to the hip.

This raised some eyebrows. Most of the men would still lose a leg and all the women thought it was kind of weird.

And then the best question. The one that divided the men.

"Would you rather be impotent or blind?"

The whimsical circumstances went flying about with no stop in sight. How will I manage to get around the city? What does it matter if I can't see the chick? What's the point of living?!?!?!

But it got me thinking. (God forbid I actually do that!) It's really interesting how we connect our potency to our value, which all men do and the limits to which we relate our potency to our world around us.

Hear me out! Guys have such a limited view of beauty in general. Imagine not being able to see how hot the chick is. That's cool. I'm like every other man out there and really enjoy a well dressed women. But a woman who holds her self with grace and radiates with love is extremely rare! Now that's fuckin' beautiful.

And of course my potency, my ability to be a man, is very important to me. And it is very much so connected to my genitals. And personally, I'd rather not be alive without them. But the depth through which we channel our potency is limited. "Look, look hunny! I got it up!" But that's only 6" and I'm 6' of man. My potency travels through all my entire body. With each breath, I try to breathe it in and exhale it out. The Taoist call it a bubble spring. Indian Yogis have all sorts of techniques to channel it up the spine. But we're still in awe of just having genitals.

I wonder if they would ever ask "Would you rather be impotent or let go of your heart?" I guess most people think we're only here to procreate. And maybe we are. But it sounds kind of viral. And some of my greatest moments have been really relating to my heart. Personally, I'd rather be dead than let go of either. I would never be me again. And death is a welcomed alternative because at least I would die with a little dignity and grace.

I Miss DOS

2005-11-04T12:45:00.000-05:00

Today at work I needed a file list. What I got was a screen capture printed out spanning several minutes and numerous trips to the printer.

How disappointing. I don't know when we forgot the power of a line command but a simple dir command with the appropriate slashes would out put it to a text file. Boo hoo.

Deserving of Wealth

2005-11-01T12:46:00.000-05:00

If you've been keeping up with my blog, you'll notice I talk quite a bit about wealth and how it's different from being rich.

When I was younger, my dad always said I should have been born into a rich family. I always thought that was obliquely condescending. I don't see it that way anymore. I've recently accepted my subconscious tendencies towards kingliness, I've even been told by a young women that I have the worst God complex she'd ever seen. I've decided that I'd rather not be like average kings of past.

Kings tended to get caught up in the daily forays of "being with money". We have Louis XIV whose extravagance was the talk of Europe during the 16th century in the mean while there was a great poverty festering beneath the surface. Many politicians of the day don't realize their duties to the people and further aggravate the divide by pretending to understand the proletariat plight.

On the other hand, my dad comes from a distinctly peasant's background. This doesn't in anyway mean he's not a hard working, smart man. But the way he relates to money is very much so the some one who has money. Yes, people with money are able to manage it, but they are also able to simplify the daily nuisances of existence. Now, according to Maslov's theory, once these basic needs are met, we are beckoned to higher callings. But that's for you to decide.

Anyone who thinks they deserve money and have money owe it to their hard work, their ingenuity and most importantly the people they leverage to create that fortune. It seems so often that people cheat their network that they HAVE to forget their network to retain a seed of conscience.

Oddly enough, I could argue that my father instilled these kingly tendancies at a young age when he showered up with fine dining, again relatively fine dining, travel and other luxuaries. Other luxuaries.... I never owned a Nintendo which is rare for a 10 year old growing up in suburbia in the 80s. Regardless, all these are totally irrelavent to the obvious disconnect.

I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. Quite the contrary. Well not relative to the average American, but to my peer group and the way I was raised. AND I HAVE KINGLY TENDANCIES. Through my college and early professional years, I tried to manage and tie down my kingly nature: keep reciepts, limit my buying, watch interest rates... all in all very frugal activities. But I'd rather focus on my passions in life which are far more imporant to me. They are the root of who I am. It's because of my kingly nature that I was able to relate to other in a compassionate way. I feel everyone deserves abundance. How do I share abundance if I don't have it myself?

My calling is to step myself up to a level of true kingliness. I have an image of what a man ought to be and it never involved Inboxes, Quicken or suburbia. My vision had yearnings for a sense of peace, community and destiny. Where we are all kings, queens, magicians, warriors and artists. And I fill myself with this everyday and when I start to finally burst at the seams, my vision, my heart, my abundance pours out without any restraint for all to drink.

Who says I have a God complex? It's complicated enough to have this yearning.

Ambigiously Gay Trio

2005-10-31T12:51:00.000-05:00

Clinton's ain't got nothing on this.

Theme of the Day: Persistence

2005-10-27T11:52:00.000-05:00

Today everything's been about being persistent. Giving up is usually because I make stupid excuses to prevent me from seeing what I really want. So I've got to remember the whip behind me and the carrot ahead of me. Those two combined motivate me to push past any "barriers" I've created.

On another note...

2005-10-26T11:57:00.000-05:00

I totally got a chance to geek at work today. I hadn't used much of my Chemical Engineering background for work in quite sometime. but when I stumbled across the phrase "venting air at sonic velocity" was quickly taken back to sophomore year sitting in Dougherty Hall in front of a messy haired, stammering Asian man. Ahhh... those were the days.

Share your Passion

2005-10-25T11:58:00.000-05:00

Everyone has a dream, probably several. Some of my dreams include having a car that I love to drive, having a house that I suits my lifestyle and being with people who bring the best out of me.

But none of these are really my passion. My passion is far more reaching, far more testing and far more satisfying to live. My passion connects me to people in a way that elucidates each and every potential of my interaction with them through each and every pore of my body. That may be just as small as saying good job or a hug. Or it may be a larger undertaking that involves me growing a person from a guy to a man or just using my knowledge to start moving someone closer to their dream. I have no judgment on their dreams just a sense of whether ours share some space.

There is something lovely about being able to share my vision through my body, mind and spirit. I embrace this.

Show Me the Money

2005-10-24T11:59:00.000-05:00

"Shaq is RICH! The white guy who signs Shaq's checks is wealthy!" -- Chris Rock

These last few weeks have been pondering what my relationship is to successs, wealth and money. I haven't drawn any hard and fast definitions, its definitely a work in progress. But I have trajectory of thought I'd like to share.

If I am successful with money, I own it and place where it can work for me. I understand the mechanisms and procedures that dictate the direction of money. This is very useful if you're starting a business or even a family.

If I am wealthy, I don't need to be successful with money. I can always hire someone to do that. There's probably a lot of people out there who konw how to manage money and are not themselves wealthy. When I'm wealthy, I figure it will spill over to those around. Chris Rock joked that when you're wealthy, you secure the future of generations. I agree, but I think it's not just those who come in your lineage, but those who surround you that benefit from your wealth: friends, family, business acquaintances.

I've also come to notice that people 'want' you to succeed but don't necessarily create avenues of success with you. They rather put up barriers. This isn't a cry for senseless yes-manship. But rather the development of an acute sense of being able to discriminate what possibilities exist, the timeline, and the effort needed for success.

Life is a dance, security allows you to dance a little more beautifully.

Your Horoscope: Today is an Auspicious Day

2005-10-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

Today, I hopped a fence, got a little wet and tresspassed...

All this the greater good for all of humanity.

Lego Cock Rocket

2005-10-20T12:01:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna design a cock rocket at the Lego Factory.

If you want to know more about the boring, geeky stuff behind the LF, check out this post.

The Astros win, the Astros Win!

2005-10-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

Holy shit! That was one phenomenal series. When Game 5 ended in a 3 run blast by the most domineeering batter in the NL, I was deflated. But when Oswalt stepped in and stepped up unhit through 4 and only letting on one run and three hits through 7.

The Astros dominated the series. After dropping only the first game, they earned the split at St. Louis and followed through with two wins at home. Both were great games. Then through 9 2/3 innings having a two run lead lost it to Pujols and Ekstein. Even at this point I'm sure every Astros fan And then the domination

The Astros vs. White Sox is going to be a great series. I hope. Both have monster bullpens. The Astros have never been to the World Series and the White Sox haven't been in about 80 years.

So normally I hate baseball. It's either full of errors, ridiculously in favor of one team, or just plain old boring baseball. This will not be that type of series. Both teams are scrappy. Both teams have class. And both teams have heros even of the unexpected variety (remember Backe last year in the playoffs.)

If baseball interests you in the least and you're sick of the watching teams like the Yankees and Boston slug it out, this will be a great series.

Chaos, confusion, creativity and resilience

2005-10-19T12:04:00.000-05:00

"We may not be interested in chaos, but chaos is interested in us."

- Robert Cooper "The Breaking of Nations: Order and Chaos in the 21st Century

My world is changing. It is in a state of flux. Even worse, that flux isn't constant. Sometimes it moves at a slow pace, other times it barages me. My world expands and then becomes smaller and then smaller before it explodes. Not exactly an easy situation to wrap myself around.

The world is getting larger. With the amount of information available to me on a daily basis, I have to be able to evaluate and discriminate it's relative value without any conscious thought. I can't sit there listing all my values, all my the information available to me and create a comparison charts. Rather I have to know what I want and go after it with intensity. A fire in my belly. This fire burns through confusion . If I have patience and balance I will reach my goal. So I learned to breathe.

The world is getting smaller. I find more and more people in my life with the same yearnings and hopes. They want to be successful. They want to have a sense of freedom. I think the world is yearning for something more. They want to feel alive. I don't know when we started to feel dead, but it probably happened when we tried to become adults. As we start to identify with each other's struggles for not only success but survival as well, we become closer; compadres so to speak. One day we'll be asked to save each other's lives. And a child's mind is our avenue to salvation. Sometimes we forget how damned we are.

I empty myself and feel. I feel myself and I fill. I fill myself and express. I express myself and empty. Rinse and repeat.

Top 100 Public Intellectuals

2005-10-19T12:03:00.000-05:00

Foreign Policy and Prospect have released Top 100 Public Intellectuals survey results.

No suprise that the majority of the people on the list are left leaning, white males. I'm actually a little suprised the de Soto was listed at 13 and not far lower.

Some other notables are Amartya Sen at 8 and Paul Wolfowitz at 19.

Also check out the analysis on page 2 of the article.

That Bitch!

2005-10-18T12:06:00.000-05:00

My sister's getting a new dog! I'm sooo jealous. It's so cute.

Update 10/25: Looks like the landlord decided that she can't have any big dogs. Now that dog doesn't look too big to you does it?

Destiny and the Arcline

2005-10-17T12:07:00.000-05:00

The arcline in yogic anatomy is an arc that extends from one ear over the crown to the other ear. You see it in religious iconagraphy as a golden halo over saints and other religions figures. But we all have one with varying colors and thinknesses.

From my own personal experiences it clears your head and sets your thoughts straight. It has several aspects like wisdom, meditation and self-esteem. But the ones I'm concerned with are protection and destiny.

So destiny. I never considered my destiny to preclude my free will. Actually, I consider my destiny something I chose along with my concept of Nature/High Being as I developed the first petterings of my own self concept. Anything that barred me from being aligned with a self concept instantly became what I was suppose to change. That's my passion. It strive for more. My passion is directly connected to my destiny. And when I'm work with my destiny in mind, I have clarity of action. If my actions and destiny are aligned with the greatest good, then it's wisdom.

Personally, I think that life wants me to succeed. When I pursue my deepest destiny with the force and relentlessness of a warrior, then in my darkest moments grace will break through.

Somehow I suspect that my arcline is connected to my heart. I remember reading that if you have a strong arcline you can live with a loving heart without any concern of being hurt. Personally, I look forward to living with an open heart.

Practice, Experience, Incorporate, Express

2005-10-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

Have you ever met a totally enchanting individual? Have you ever noticed how expressive they were?

To be truly expressive mean not to confuse your expression with noise. So if you want to express joy, every fiber in your being is coordinated in joy.

Try this exercise. Ask someone an honestly open ended question. Then fix your gaze on their eyes or forehead (play with this... I am) and maintain an open, curious body position. This may mean having your arms by your side, but probably not crossed.

If you have the capacity, totally empty your mind of any thought. And just feel the moment.

Truly expressing your emotions is an amazing capacity. You generate emotions somewhere and then your body expresses them. Try focusing on your solar plexus to see what feeling are generated there. Its quite a little meditation.

Any case, I've focused on expression. But the title of the post is "practice, experience, incorporate, express." This formula is one for success at any goal.

You'll succeed. Peace.

Money -- I own you!

2005-10-13T12:09:00.000-05:00

Last night I attended a lecture in which a great question was asked. "Who owns who? Do I own money or does it own me?"

My life, for the most part, has been one that forces me to be a penny pincher and frugel. That's just not my personality. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to "waste" money. I want my money to serve me. Period. All too often my financial situation prevents me from actualizing my vision. And yes, I have a vision. Without it, I don't know what I'd do with my life. Probably live a life of mediocrity. And that is, in my opinion, as good as being dead. We don't need another 'ordiniary' person.

Does anyone know anyone out there who owns money and isn't owned by money? A person who comes from a place of abundance?

Blogging the blog

2005-10-13T00:10:00.000-05:00

" If you want to learn something , read about it . If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it. "

This quotation is from Yogi Bhajan. I swear, everytime I think I know something, this guy deepens my insight tenfold. I look forward to writing this blog. And you get to be my little guinea pigs.

Schiavo Didn't Veg This Much

2005-10-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

This entire weekend was filled with clouds and rain. All I did Saturday and Sunday was sit around and watch TV. Here's what I can remember watching:

Samurai Champloo
Full Metal Alchemist
Baseball
Football
Bush's Brain
X-Men the original FOX cartoon series
Breaking Bonaduce

And there's no way that filled what had to be 20 hours of TV. When my eyes started to hurt, I just kept on watching TV. My eyes still hurt. I can't remember watching so much TV in one weekend. Friends would invite me out and I swear I would mumble something utterly incoherent, hang up and return to my new found master.

On the other hand, I strongly recommend Full Metal Alchemist if you're into Anime and Breaking Bonaduce if you like to see a self-destructive TV personality.

Remember... Peace in the Middle East!

Storytelling and Authority

2005-10-07T12:13:00.000-05:00

Stories, in my opinion, have always been one of the best ways to relate an idea without being sounding like an asshole. I enjoy stories. They tell something interesting about life and people, but they also convey values.

Dave Pollard recently posted "10 Steps to Better Story-Telling" and he's right on. (If you like his post check out "The Story Factor" or "The Power of Personal Storytelling").

All of us tell stories. It's great! I love to listen to someone's story. Especially if they're skilled (you know like bow hunting skills or computer hacking skills). All of these references share how to tell a great story and what topics are of great interest to people.

Here's my questions. How do you develop the authority to tell a great story? Especially one that hints at values? I know I've done it. I know I've done it well. And I know I totally flopped on it.

Gackt

2005-10-06T12:14:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across Gackt (pronounced "ga-ku-to" a Japanese musician turned diva turned movie star turned god a few months ago when a good buddy of mine revealed his man crush. After viewing some his concert DVDs, I don't blame him.

Personally, I think the man has some style. I love the theatrics of Malice Mizer. Each one of the four members paraded onto stage to some intro music. They each wore a different colored angel outfit. The guitars were fastened to a stand designating their place on stage. The four on stage minus Gackt would start the song. Both with a sense of expectation and wonder, Gackt as black angel would descend from above. His face was painted white, his mouth stained with blood from a recent feeding. The music changes pace to mark both his entrance, descent and landing. All in all, majestic.

So if you haven't heard of Gackt, that's cool. It seems like not too many people know of him. But in Japan, he's worshipped. Japanese worship differently than Americans. This guy has been on top going on 10 years now. For one, the story that surrounds him and his performance is mythic. He claims to be born in 1540 making him 465 years old. (Reminds me of rebirth and immortality... but that's another post) His sensuality beams on stage. His answer to questions of his sexuality are ambigious at best basically telling the fans to "believe whatever works best for you."

So here's my question. What is it that makes a person beam? How do you become radiant and hold a crowd in awe? We've all, hopefully, been mezmorized by a performer. Or seduced by a music act. Religious people have had this power before. How hard is it to have a group of people 'fall' for your image? Ahhh... hot game. What a fascinating topic. Anyone out there ever think about this stuff?

Yoga

2005-10-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

I practice yoga because it eases my mind and relaxes my body.

When I'm relaxed and at ease, I can be honest.

I practice yoga because it increases my awareness.

When I am aware I can be subtle or powerful or both.

When I practice yoga I become more than I was before.